Five MORE Questions

Killer answering the tough questions

Fringes added a new twist to the rampant interview Meme infecting Blogistan, she paired up complete strangers that read her blog. The person chosen to interview me is Sebastien from Chronically Sick But Still Thinking.

1. As a nurse, do you ever feel weird when you introduce yourself to your patients and they find out your name is Killer?
Well, the one part of my life where Killer is not used, is the hospital. It would probably not go over very well if I walked in and said, "I'm your nurse, my name is Killer, I need to put this up your ass." Luckily, my patients tend to be comatose or heavily sedated, so I don't tell them my name at all. I just shove things up their ass with no foreplay, not even a reach around.

2. Paris Hilton. What does she mean to you? How does she effect your life? Do you love her?
Ms. Hilton disturbs me. She, and her ilk, are an unmentioned sign of the downfall of society. I do not find her attractive in any way. I am hoping she takes up flying, so she can have a proper celebrity ending.

3. What's a more terrible way to die, getting eaten by a shark, or getting eaten by a crocodile? Please explain your choice.
Death by shark would be much more majestic in my opinion. I SCUBA dive, so this is probably how I will go. Crocodiles seem clumsy and stupid to me, and it would be almost offensive to get taken by a Croc. Now that I have said that, I am going to get attacked by a Salt Water Croc while diving in the ocean.

4. You are in a car chase, the police are after you. Here are your questions: what kind of car would you be driving, what kind of weapons would you have in the backseat and trunk, and who would be your co-pilot (and partner in crime)? Oh, and as the chase is taking place, would you still be thoughtful enough to use your turn signals?
I see myself in a post drinking, illegal drive home when the police start their pursuit. My partner in crime would have to be Liz, so we would be in her tiny Toyota. Neither I nor Liz have any serious weapons, so the backseat will be filled with porn or more booze (maybe both). If I was driving, yes, I would be using turn signals, because I do it instinctively. If Liz is driving she would probably not, she is smarter, and hence a better criminal, than me.

5. In a previous blog post, I see that you wrote that you loved living in Missoula. If my memory proves correct, Isn't there a bear that greets visitors at the Missoula airport? Do you find the fact that a bear greets you at the Missoula airport amazingly awesome, or frighteningly dreadful?
Yes, there is a large bear that greets you at the Missoula "International" airport. It is poised in attack mode as well. There are also many, many other dead, taxidermied animals that fill the Missoula airport. I always refer to it as the "airport of death". I really think they should stuff and mount all deceased pilots there to keep with the theme.

Thanks to Sebastien for the questions. I recommend checking out his blog. There is lots of great art work and he was nice enough to ask me some questions.

Questions.... and answers

Liz replies to Jester's Inquisition.

I like Jester. A lot. Just when I think he's all about social activism, he drops a tid bit where he tells us that he paid to see the movie Wild Hogs. Nice balance.

He recently sent the following questions for me to answer. I'm hoping Killer has received some questions too. If not, I'm going to ask him my own set of questions.

1. What makes a good boyfriend?

Respectful, employed, and with good manners, the ideal boyfriend has lived on his own. I can't stand men who don't know how to do anything for themselves. He is self-sufficient and trusting, with a good humor and an appreciation for a woman who has her own quirks and own flair for life. He travels quit a bit so he's not around me too much, but when he's on the road, even though he is one handsome devil, he keeps his dick under lock and key. No screwing around. No exceptions.

If he wants kids, he already has them. Don't look at me. I'm no breeder.

He likes animals and good music and is smart. I'm smart enough, and he would respect that in some areas, I've got him beat. But when it comes to things like financial planning or mapping out our trip to Ireland, he delights in taking care of the details.

I am affectionate and giving to those that I love. I can't imagine spending my time with someone who isn't the same. However, public displays of affection are not allowed. It creeps me out to see couples making out. Save it for the privacy of your own home or the backseat.

He knows that if he ever buys me a teddy bear, our relationship is over. I'm not 13.

2. You're throwing a party and want to invite the five funniest people you know plus ONE living celebrity. Who's on the invitation list?

VERY hard question. Most of my friends are funny. Very funny. My BFF is the funniest person I know, so she is a given. As far as celebrities, I struggle with this too. I think Will Ferrel is hilarious, but I hear that it's his skits and movies that are funny, his true persona is much more serious. I guess I've got to go with Steve Corell (misspelled), from The Office, Dave Chappel, or Ellen DeGeneres.

3. What is your number one beauty secret?

I have no secrets. Unfortunately.

4. Describe the circumstances of your most recent episode of phone sex.

I'm not really into this, but if phone flirting counts... well..... I'd rather not say. It's been a while, he's now married, and it makes me blush. Answering this question feels too much like a public display of horniness.

5. Your job is to pick three albums from your collection that will be played on a non-stop repeating loop for the next two years. What three albums do you pick that will drive you the most insane?

I like this question. It's not what I want to listen to, it's what would make me go crazy. Almost any 3 albums played repeatedly for two years would make me bonkers, but, from my actual collection, here is my honest reply:

Primus, Pork Soda

Blues Traveler, Save His Soul

The Brady Bunch Kids Sing!

If you'd like me to ask YOU five questions, here are the Interview Meme rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by putting five questions for you in the comments section. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.