Wednesday, June 14, 2006

THEN and NOW

Liz compares:

I was recently told by a work friend that, although an attractive woman, I am no supermodel. Where did that statement come from? I would venture to guess directly out of his hairy ass, but that would be presumptuous. I felt violated by the statement; I wasn't asking for his assessment, he just laid it out there, unprovoked. I found it strange and meaningless but it's stuck with me for 8 nights now. I've broken it down to mean these things:
  • You're not hideous, but don't go without makeup
    If you'd lose 30 pounds, I might be interested
    You're pretty enough... for someone who's not really into looks
    You'll find a good mate, but don't be surprised when he dumps you for a hot chic
    Your genes should die with you when you go


He was telling me about his request to his wife for a divorce. As he spoke on this intensely personal subject, I heard one theme: I loved her as a girlfriend, hate her as a spouse. This got me thinking: is what makes a good girlfriend the same qualities you seek in a wife? Let's break THIS down:

  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Flirty and fun, all your guy friends love her
  • GOOD WIFE: Hardly speaks to your friends, stays home, doesn't flirt at all
  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Wears sexy clothes and shows off her body
  • GOOD WIFE: Owns granny panties; multiple turtlenecks
  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Can out drink half the guys you know
  • GOOD WIFE: Takes sips from your beer when she brings you a fresh one
  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Plans fun weekends for the two of you
  • GOOD WIFE: Doesn't want to go anywhere
  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Loves any present you give her- almost a guarantee you'll get laid
  • GOOD WIFE: Quit expecting presents years ago
  • GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Too busy being with you to keep the house clean
  • GOOD WIFE: Scrubs your pee off the toilet seat without complaining

I don't get it. One day I'll make a list of what makes a good boyfriend. I still have no idea what makes a good husband... but I know that telling you that you're no supermodel won't make the list.

5 comments:

CW3G said...

Good husband - I thought that was a myth??

Mick C said...

I have a tip for you how to avoid this sort of unwelcome comment. Make a sign with these words on it and put it on your desk:

'Churlish, Egocentric and Sexist comments are punishable by random acts of genital violence towards the perpetrator'

Ok, so it'll be a big sign, but I think it'll get the point across. Let me know how it goes!

Killer said...

Nice! You have nailed exactly what I want in both a girlfriend and a wife. The trick is to have one of each.

Killer said...

I am quite impressed that not only did you manage to get a new person to read the blog, but you also got a blog written about you on his page.
Great work!

Liz said...

Thank you, Killer, for the "big ups".