Feel The Burn!!

Killer giving credit where credit is due.

I have shared several conversations involving RN1 from work. She is older, has lots of cats, and in my opinion, is a tad naive. I often tease her and make jokes at her expense. I and a few others take the effort to make her uncomfortable and expose her to new ideas.

Like a rat in a lab experiment, I feel she is learning and adapting to her environment.

Allow me to elaborate.

Rn1 and I are sitting in the break room relaxing.

Rn1: Oooo, you have to see the latest pictures of my cats.
Me: Unless you have pictures of one of you cats getting run over, I don't want to see them.
Rn1: Quit being mean, even you will love these.
Me: What's the last thing that goes through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Rn1: (digging through her purse) I'm ignoring you.
Me: What's the last thing that goes through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Rn1: (pulling out her pictures) I won't ask.
Me: (with my eyes closed tightly) I won't look at your pictures until you ask.
Rn1: Okay, what is the last thing to go through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Me: My back left tire.
Rn1: I don't get it, and for once, I am glad about that. (she lays out about twenty photos of her cats. One cat is dressed like a groom and the other a bride. A cat wedding.)
Rn1: Isn't that the cutest thing you have ever seen?
Me: (jaw agape) Dear merciful God, what have you done?
Rn1: Don't act all macho, I know, deep down, you think it is adorable.
Me: Did these cats shit on your pillow? Is this some sort of severe cat punishment?
Rn1: They like it
Me: I can see, "please kill me" pouring out of their beady little eyes.
Rn1: My boys love playing dress up.
Me: Boys?!? Isn't that one in a dress a girl?
Rn1: No, I don't have any girl cats.
Me: So, you have decided to turn that fella into a trani?
Rn1: He is always the girl, because he is the prettiest.
Me: I think in a past life these cats were really evil and your house is like a feline hell.
Rn1: (scooping up her pictures) You always make fun of me. Can't you have fun without it being at my expense?
Me: Someone always has to pay for fun. It is a scientific fact that all fun costs at least four dollars.
Rn1: (placing the pictures back in her purse, she suddenly pulls out a five dollar bill) Here take this and go have fun in a corner by yourself.
Me: (stunned) OH-MY-GOD! You just burned me good. That was a pro-level burn."
Rn1: (smiling with a very proud look) I know, I saw the five dollars, and it just came to me. You're right, that was fun.
Rn1: Can I have my five dollars back?
Me: No way, someone has to pay for that fun, and it won't be me.
Rn1: It was totally worth it.