International Women's Day

Liz makes a suggestion:

My BFF informed me that on her calendar today is marked as "international women's day." Although we could take this to mean they're having a two-for-one special on women of international origin at your local Sam's Club, I'm sure the true spirit of the holiday is more meaningful. The question I pose to you is how do you properly celebrate this hallowed event (and why the Hell didn't I get the day off?).

I have a few celebratory suggestions, but I'm looking for you to supply your ideas as well. I'll be spending MY IWD doing the following:

• Enjoying my vagina. Take that to mean what you will.
• Water-based paint nipple art (great for making perfect replicas of olives for a drawn martini)
• Practicing my Kegul exercises
• Trying to master queefing
• Using tampons throughout the day to mop up unfortunate spills
• Enjoying brunch and hot tea with the bitches

So? How are you spending this day or how do you propose that we celebrate next year?

Mark your calendars and I'll meet you back here next year on IWD eve with the guide to proper celebrations.

I'm getting married... thought you should know!

A surprise from Liz:



Well, blog reader, you're hearing it first. I haven't even told my parents or my BFF yet. I'm getting married!



It feels so good to finally be able to say those words. For 35 years I've been deeply committed to my solo life and now I am finally able to say something that makes me sound "normal". This willingness to unite to another is a huge leap in my personal growth! Let me say it again. It's a big step for me: I'M GETTING MARRIED.


I don't know all the details yet. I don't know where we're getting married- I propose a surprise wedding of which I know none of the details, but he has yet to confirm that this idea is okay with him. See how I'm including him in the planning? That is so wife-ish of me.


I have some other proposals:



I'm thinking the marriage should occur prior to 2018. Even though there is no rush, I would like for my parents to know that it went down and I'm hoping they'll be here within 11 years. I don't want to wear a wedding dress. I know that I'm striving for a sense of normalcy, but I am of the belief that wedding dresses past 30 are pushing the law of decency. He may disagree with this, but I'm pretty firm on this commitment. See how I just used the word "commitment"? HUGE step.





I also have expectations about how we share household duties. Since I work and plan to continue to work, I hope he is agreeable to mopping and loading and emptying the dishwasher in addition to assuming all responsibility for lawn maintenance. Even though we won't have any kids together, being in charge of all domestic duties is truly a rigorous job, even with only two in the house. Speaking of house, I have to move. My house is only big enough for me unless he plans on keeping every single one of his belongings in the garage.




I know you're curious about the lucky groom. Ya'll would love this guy. He's thoughtful and honest, appreciates wit, is adventurous and fun-loving. Plus, he recognizes how lucky he is be my future husband. Here's a rendition of what he's going to look like. His crooked smile is so charming to me!




The fact that I don't yet have a groom is beside the point. I've made the first step: a willingness to consider that I might one day want to get married. Please join my parents in celebration.