My BFF informed me that on her calendar today is marked as "international women's day." Although we could take this to mean they're having a two-for-one special on women of international origin at your local Sam's Club, I'm sure the true spirit of the holiday is more meaningful. The question I pose to you is how do you properly celebrate this hallowed event (and why the Hell didn't I get the day off?).
I have a few celebratory suggestions, but I'm looking for you to supply your ideas as well. I'll be spending MY IWD doing the following:
- Enjoying my vagina. Take that to mean what you will.
- Water-based paint nipple art (great for making perfect replicas of olives for a drawn martini)
- Practicing my Kegul exercises
- Trying to master queefing
- Using tampons throughout the day to mop up unfortunate spills
- Enjoying brunch and hot tea with the bitches
So? How are you spending this day or how do you propose that we celebrate next year?
Mark your calendars and I'll meet you back here next year on IWD eve with the guide to proper celebrations.
9 comments:
hell, your day looks full. i'll come spend it with you
I am going to speak in several poorly imitated foreign accents today. You know, so that I feel more international.
i propose that you celebrate next year's iwd by allowing me to enjoy your vagina
liz, i agree with all of your ideas with one exception, no woman should have to clean anything today unless it gives her pleasure to do so. make some guy do the cleaning. :-)
This sounds like a conspiracy for the women of the world to throw off the yoke of domestication that was placed there by man long ago.
Or, maybe it is just a chance to enjoy your vaginas.
"When women kegel as one, the world will be crushed by their strength!"
-anonymous
I think you should spend the day chewing some poor guys ear off. Just like every other day.
Beware of bartenders holding little plastic swords or toothpicks. They could be detrimental to your health with your current plans.
NONE of these comments are helpful... except Chad's.
Kidding.
I'm almost serious about promoting IWD next year. How cool would it be to have a parade where women were pulled in rigshaws by shirtless 23 year old men? I especially like this idea if I don't explain it to ANYONE, don't advertise it, but get a permit and do it downtown during lunch traffic.
make the guys wear nothing but g-strings and i'm there! lol ;-)
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