The Golden Years of Sex

In continuation of the bizarre topics of discussion at work:
Which Golden Girl Would You Bang?

"Blanche Devereaux" (Rue McClanahan) The slutty one.

This would seem like the obvious choice. She is experienced and likes to get freaky, but she is a slut. The only thing worse than getting a STD is getting a STD from the 19th century. Not only could you get the clap, but she might also carry polio or rickets.





"Rose Nylund" (Betty White) The stupid one.

Stupid chicks are easy targets. You could probably trick her into sex by convincing her you are a doctor and you need to give her a "special exam". She gets disqualified for constantly talking about her dead husband. Major turn off.





"Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak" (Beatrice Arthur) The male one

I refuse to believe this is a woman. She is seven feet tall with a baritone voice. To quote the 40 Year Old Virgin, "How did you know it was a man?" "Her hands were the size of Andre the Giants, and her adams apple was as big as her balls."





"Sophia Petrillo" (Estelle Getty) The REALLY old one.

We have a winner! Small and sassy, just like I like 'em. She's so old, in her early twenties she sold veggie burritos and bootlegged powder wigs outside of Mozart concerts. That just guarantees no risk of a long term relationship. That's always a winning trait.