Killer, pissing off the natives.
Setting: Four nurses sitting around the nurses station eating cookies. Alarms are going off, people are calling for help, but that can wait. We have cookies.
RN1: If we are all stranded on a deserted island what is the one item you would want?
RN2: I would want a big box of matches so I can make fire and stay warm. I hate to be cold.
*nods of agreement with murmurs of approval.
RN3: I want fishing supplies so I can get some food.
*more enthusiastic agreement. RN2 now looks dejected that her match idea has been bested.
RN1: Well, I would want a Bible so I could pray to be rescued.
*sudden back pedaling by 2&3. The Bible was understood, they want a second chance.
Me: I would want a baseball bat so I could hit you guys and take away your items. I could fish, then start a fire to cook the fish.
*2&3 laugh and a discussion begins on the weapons/traps they could make out of fishing wire and matches to stop a bat wielding lunatic on a deserted island.
RN1: (looking aghast) That is really not fair. You would actually hit someone and take their Bible?
Me: No, I wouldn't want your Bible. On the deserted island, me and my bat would rule. I would start my own religion, quickly making your Bible obsolete.
RN1: I would use my Bible and start a church on the island.
Me: Well, my new religion would have church services that were centered around all you can eat fish fries.
*RN1 turns to 2&3 and very seriously asks:
RN1: Who's church are you going to join?
*2&3 are obviously enjoying tormenting RN1.
RN3: If he has all the fishing supplies and matches, we would have to go the fish fry church.
RN1: (standing in a huff) I'll pray for your souls.
Me: (as she storms away) I'll fry some fish for yours.
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12 comments:
i'd bring a big-ass battle axe and hack your precious baseball bat into 5 or 6 useless pieces.
did you have this conversation during your stint in tupelo?
Thank God this is a short-lived work assignment for you! You are only days away from getting a reputation.
praise be to killer!
They don't call you Killer for nuthin', do they?
I used to work in a clinic and I tried really hard to keep my mouth shut around the christian nurses. When I would say stuff like you did, they would always tell me how funny I was. It was so cute that they thought I was kidding.
Our Lady of the Fish Fries. Now that's a church I could attend. Daily even.
I would bring a boat..stocked with food and beer and satellite TV and a fireplace to burn bibles in.
Nurses attend church in California?
Will your church have tartar sauce?
I'd bring an ice-cream maker.
I'd bring my ACLU lawyer.
You know this goes in the "best of" category, don't you. This is really funny to me.
Hi. Hello. Normally, I'm a lurker here.
That was shit funny.
Thanks.
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