A plan for Killer
I was watching the television, which is a great invention by the way, if you don't have one you should pick one up. I was watching the television (t.v. in today's hip street slang) and K-Fed, the most recent winner of the palimony lottery, is getting a lot of sympathy press and air play for his new CD, which I highly recommend you avoid like the plague. As a matter of fact, I want to start a new saying, "Avoid that like a K-Fed album". His only real talent appears to be dancing and knocking up stupid celebrities. I don't know if you have seen Jamie Kennedy in "Malibu's Most Wanted", but that is who I think of every time I see K-Fed.
He's going to be a millionaire, and all he had to do was walk around in a wife beater and a trucker hat. I could do that. I even have an authentic trucker hat I bought ten years ago at an actual truck stop. I don't have a wife beater t-shirt. I've always been afraid my man-boobs would hang out the sides. But, it would be an investment for my future.
I have even narrowed down the field of celebrities to marry. I think I will try the Olsen twins. Sure, I'll have to push them together to make one small size female, but I am willing to try.
My plan for this year is:
-Find Trucker hat in storage unit.
-Buy wife beater T-shirt.
-Go to gym so man-boobs don't hang out of wife beater.
-Hang out where the Olsen's twins hang out.
I can wing it from there. Once I get divorced, if you say you read this blog, I will buy you a new car.
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7 comments:
I almost had a celebrity divorce. We were never quite married, but I sat outside his house for a week straight which is as close as I come to a commitment. It could have been beautiful if not for that lawsuit.
you are my new spiritual leader.. your plan is blilliant!
I'll take a Ferrari and hope my man boobs don't hang out the sides.
Who gives a shit about man boobs when you're rolling in money?
I had a celebrity divorce. But the whole relationship was/is a secret, so I got nothing out of it. Except a song written about me. And I can't pay bills with a song...
true you could be K-fed2 since you're name is Killer but Kill-ex doesn't work for you the same as Fed-Ex does for federleeezee. Seriously. Kill-ex sounds like another version of RAID for cockroaches or something.
Dude, I not only read it but I comment on it. I get dibs on the first car handed out. Just try not to accidentally lose one of them in a shoe or have one fall between the car seat and the middle console. You can't get a big lawsuit if you lose one of them in a load of laundry.
I've always wanted to divorce Larry Hagman.
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