Friday, December 23, 2005
The Old Man and the C
I have come to realize that I am getting too old for my lifestyle. I am 32. I have reached an age at which people no longer find it entertaining that I stay out late drinking with friends or that I spent the weekend in Vegas gambling. I remember, not very long ago, when I would regale my fellow co-workers about stories of parties gone awry or tales of horrific hangovers that would be met with sly smiles of memories of their own youth. Now I see a different look. A look of concern and consternation. I expect to find pamphlets for AA or local rehab facilities stuffed into my locker at work. I am not sure where the cut off technically is for the youthful lifestyle. I am certain, however that I have surpassed it in the eyes of society. I don't feel guilty and I don't feel old. I just feel the same as I did ten years ago when it would be normal for me to act the way I do. I received an email today from a close highschool friend who now has four children and is a stay at home mom. Am I out of touch with reality? Should I be pursuing the domesticated lifestyle more? If my lifestyle is dangerously close to pathetic now how will it be viewed in ten more years. Is anyone going to find humor in a 42 year old single male, who spends the bulk of his finances traveling aimlessly around the world, drinking local beers and hitting on foreign chicks? I can only hope so since that is the most likely outcome. I fear that this whole lifestyle may be enabled by a sub-conscious fear of "the C-word", commitment. I won't even get a pet because it would be too much responsibility, even just a fish. I currently have a pet plant but even it has caused some problems. I have to find someone to watch it when I go out of town for prolonged periods of time. They need to have pet loaner services for people, like me, who only want a dog for the weekend. These pets would have to be good with people and understand their delicate situation of a fear of commitment and lack of ability to get the needed contact from a regular pet. Sort of like a prostitute, except one that might take a dump on your carpet. I think the prostitute would do that also if you asked her, but it might cost extra.
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4 comments:
You are right on target with your suspicions that people are concerned about your bar-hopping, care free, alcohol induced lifestyle. Wait till you're 34 and a WOMAN- wait... will you be a woman when you're 34?
As you get older, but no more mature, you'll hear things like, "My God, HOW CAN you STILL go out like that- during the week?" or "MY GOD, WHY do you feel like you HAVE TO drink so much/often/excessively?" or, my favorite,always followed with direct eye contact and a scorn, "I guess that I'VE just out grown the party lifestyle." Trust me, the judgement only gets worse with age; their bitterness that it's you and not them grows with each passing year. But, in the end, they will have the last laugh. They'll have children to wipe their asses when they are in Depends. You and I will only have each other.
Ooooooo.... I'll leave you to think on THAT one for a while.....
Your strange? you just have not found the right rub and tug women. Mail order anyone?
I am afraid now after what Liz said- I am going to be a 34 year old woman in a matter of days! YIKES!! But being a woman with the same fear of the C-word as you, I am trying to embrace my choices. The thing to remember is, if you keep on moving and traveling, you can leave much of the judgment behind. As you know, you are not alone. I am about to take two months off to travel myself- but I am sure the experience will be worth the comments. Besides, I plan to die long before someone needs to wipe my ass!
I am 29. Sometimes I get the knowing smiles and sometimes I get that concerned look. So I think the cut-off might be around 30. I only just turned 29 about a month ago, so I feel like I have one good year left.
I really don't think you have a fear of committment, though. Is it wrong of me to think that you need 5 boyfriends (and a lover) to sustain yourself.......I figure if I had a carpenter, an electrician, a plumber, a technology guy, and a landscaper, (and a lover), it would save me a lot of time and money. But maybe that's just me.
And if you are going to be a woman when you are 34, let me know. Maybe you'll finally enjoy a man/pedi with me.
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