Beefcake: It's What's For Dinner

Liz asks: Am I a gay man ?

As I searched for images to add to this post, I found that "beefcakes" appeal more to gay men than to 35-year old sexually deprived women. I was surprised to learn that images such as this are considered "homoerotic". Really? Is there something sexy about a man who cannot rest his massively pumped arms on his side?

Yesterday I went to a very dangerous place- a junk store. Unfortunately I love junk yet have no additional room in my house for junk and no additional funds in my pocket for purchasing more junk. Yet, $25 later, I was leaving the musty store having struck a deal with the black man reeking of bourbon with 10 vintage 8x10 images of muscle men; pictures straight from the late '50's and early '60's. They're GREAT.

I love the poses of the beefcakes from the 50's- one man is standing in the waves on a surfboard with a harpoon in hand- poised to strike, one guy is in "The Thinker" pose except his left leg is pointed out in front of him as if to say, "all shall be mesmorized by this calf", one man is standing in the brush, flexing to the point where his veins are popping just beneath the skin all over his body. I worry that he suffered a stroke as soon as the photo was taken.

All the pictures have titles that were typed, likely 40 years ago, on standard white paper and glued to the pictures. They give the competition titles of the men and the year that they were "Mr. Universe" or "Mr. America". I love this about the photos. The typing was done on a typewriter in that font that can never be replicated. The pictures have that hint of yellow that comes with age and the tight boy shorts and loin cloths the men are wearing truly are classic.

I am going to spray-paint matching hot pink frames and hang the pictures in my house. An homage to men so pumped that they do not have time for women. I plan to add the photo of Killer in the Playboy bunny suit in the mix, just to see who is paying attention.

After some pondering, I think it's safe to say that I do not find these images erotic as much as cheesy(not you, Killer). Adding the point that I cannot stand Streisand or more than 15 minutes of Techno music, I can safely conclude that I am, in fact, NOT a gay man.