Midterm Erections This Tuesday!

Liz invites you to pundit this:

It should be no surprise to you that there are some mid-term elections coming up. My friend E has already made plans to order hot wings and drink beer all night; staying glued to the TV as election results are returned. His landlord/best friend will be right by his side tossing out jeers like, "I TOLD you they were a red state but you wouldn't listen, asshole!" I almost wish I was joining them.

I always try to make it to the polls, but I have not registered in my "new" city yet. This means about a 40 minute minute drive and a 2 hour wait at the old polling place. Ah... the old polling place! Just saying that brings back the memories.

What I love, and hate, about elections is the lengths to which a party will go to smear an opponent. You see, I am an Independent voter- I never vote down party lines- so I pay close attention to the trash talk and the smack down that shows up in the months and weeks before an election. What I have been enjoying lately is the new found knowledge that 69% of all white, Christian, male conservative Republicans are gay. I'm going to have to ask my Dad about this.

Pictured on the left is Ted Haggard, the influential evangelist with White House ties who contacted a male prostitute for "massages" (and blow jobs) and bought crystal meth BUT (he says) never smoked it. There are a lot things disgusting in this story, the most severe being Haggard's previous public denouncement of gay marriage. What IS IT with all these men who are having sex with other men but are aggressively vigilant against gay rights? The hypocrisy is so severe I can't even believe that these are real news stories. It's the Sadam mentality: "I get everything I want, you get punished for wanting the same. Bring me a virgin." And our guys add, "A male virgin- preferably under 17. Shhhhh. Don't tell my wife and kids."

THIS is fucked up.

I wonder what I'm missing out on in life. I don't HAVE but maybe two secrets. And the secrets I have really aren't THAT big of a deal. Who ARE you people that live these double lives and, especially, those of you who are so schizophrenic that the two lives combat each other?

I would like an alter ego and I am soliciting your suggestion on what the "second" Liz should be. Be advised: the Liz writing now might actually be the "bad" one. Don't feel pressure to suggest I become a heroin addict; you might suggest I become a librarian's assistant.

Thanks for your ideas and go vote Tuesday.