S.E.Asia Travel log 3

Hello all. We have arrived in Laos. We flew into Luang Prabang a few days ago. It is my kind of place. Very relaxed and laid back. No little kids trying to sell me crappy bracelets, or adults trying to take me for illicit massages, or even just the ominous sounding, "you want boom-boom?" This last one has an added since of dread since it is mostly asked by old guys. The beer here is cheap and they have a wide selection. They have big bottles of "Beer lao" and little bottles of "Beer Lao". Apparently when the government makes the beer, they have a upper hand in limiting their competition. Luckily Beer Lao is some of the best beer I have tried so far. Our hotel room is a staggering five dollars a night and that is with a tv and air conditioning. I know to most of you American only travelers, that sounds like an understood, but believe me, when travelling the cheap way around the world you definitely look at the room BEFORE you agree to rent it. So far we have spent our entire time here in Laos walking around and exploring this small village, it is pretty cool. Almost every corner has a Vat (which is a Buddhist temple). All the monks are about an average of 15 years old and love to try out their English. They all the ask the same questions, and usually in the same order. "Where are you coming from? How long are you being here in Luang Prabang? How are you liking the city? How long are you going to be here? Do you have a wife? Do you have a girlfriend? What is your name?" After all those questions are finished it usually is followed by a long and awkward silence. Some have managed to say, "You are fat?" I usually just respond, "yes". Then I go on a rampage and knock over every statue of Budha within a ten foot radius. Actually I just say, yes, and smile and then walk away. I don't think they intend their question to be mean, I just think they really have not encountered overweight people very often. I am going to start a foundation when I get back stateside to search out overweight people and send them to Southeast Asia on group tours in order to enrich the lives of the local peoples. Considering the way the locals are excited every time I sit down in one of their cheap plastic restaurant chairs, and it doesn't break, I think they would start cheering if a whole group were to do this at once.
I will keep you all informed of this future business plan, and I fully expect you all to send all your obese friends to me for customers. And Bam, I will give you a discount.
Michael Williams
President and Founder
Tubby Tours International