Magellan on a Stick

Killer, directionally challenged, but great intestinal fortitude.

Current location: Amarillo, TX
Distance traveled today: 900 miles (180 miles unnecessarily)
Time Driving: 14 hours

So, I wake up this morning at about 5am, load up the Jeep, hug my Mom goodbye and set out on, yet another, trek to California.
I was pumped, I had my route thought out in advance, it is not hard, drive West and when you hit L.A. turn right.

I jumped in the Jeep and cranked up some heavy hitting talk radio and pulled out onto I-20. After about an hour or so I noticed a sign telling me how far it is to a town in Alabama. That kind of woke me out of my talk radio induced stupor and I thought, "hey, when I drive from Mississippi to California, I don't have to go through Alabama."
That is when I realized I, in my excitement to get on with the journey, had gone East on I-20.

I have traversed this great country in an automobile so many times, it is not countable. I have never driven over an hour in the COMPLETE wrong direction. I don't know if it is a sign of early dementia, or maybe I am not as smart as I thought. I had a nice time budget of 12 hours of driving a day, but I blew that the first day and had to drive 14 hours.
The worst part was turning around and having to drive back through the town that I started from. That sucks. I was very tempted to just stop and try again tomorrow. Nobody needs to start a massive journey with a brain fart.

I survived, and managed to hit Dallas during evening rush hour, so that was a plus. I really dislike most of Texas (sorry Fringes), if it weren't for Austin and Big Bend National Park, I would be all for letting Mexico have it back. I have nothing against the people, it is just that Texas is so damn big, flat, and depressing to drive through. They should break it up into a few smaller states, that way no one state would have to take the blame for that section of the country.

I became delirious after hour ten and began trying to take pictures of the landscape while driving at 80 miles an hour. This is actually proof against my argument for Texas not being appealing. But, a good sunset can make any place look good.

I stopped at a small gas station, about five miles South of nowhere. They had a very intriguing food product next to the counter. I asked the lady behind the register what it was and she said, "sausage on a stick." Holy shit! Why didn't I think of that. In my 33 years of life thus far, everything, and I mean everything, has been made better when put on a stick. Despite the frightening, and non appetizing, appearance, I bought one.

I have eaten deep fried crickets and grubs, and sauteed ants while in Thailand. I figured I could handle a sausage, so I was told, that has been skewered. It tasted like it looks.

The only thing worse than trying to take pictures out the window at 80 miles an hour, besides text messaging which I did not do very well, is trying to take a picture of a meat product, that has been impaled, while going 80 miles an hour.

Hopefully tomorrow will go smoother and I can reach Southern California before stopping again.