I was recently told by a work friend that, although an attractive woman, I am no supermodel. Where did that statement come from? I would venture to guess directly out of his hairy ass, but that would be presumptuous. I felt violated by the statement; I wasn't asking for his assessment, he just laid it out there, unprovoked. I found it strange and meaningless but it's stuck with me for 8 nights now. I've broken it down to mean these things:
- You're not hideous, but don't go without makeup
If you'd lose 30 pounds, I might be interested
You're pretty enough... for someone who's not really into looks
You'll find a good mate, but don't be surprised when he dumps you for a hot chic
Your genes should die with you when you go
He was telling me about his request to his wife for a divorce. As he spoke on this intensely personal subject, I heard one theme: I loved her as a girlfriend, hate her as a spouse. This got me thinking: is what makes a good girlfriend the same qualities you seek in a wife? Let's break THIS down:
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Flirty and fun, all your guy friends love her
- GOOD WIFE: Hardly speaks to your friends, stays home, doesn't flirt at all
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Wears sexy clothes and shows off her body
- GOOD WIFE: Owns granny panties; multiple turtlenecks
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Can out drink half the guys you know
- GOOD WIFE: Takes sips from your beer when she brings you a fresh one
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Plans fun weekends for the two of you
- GOOD WIFE: Doesn't want to go anywhere
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Loves any present you give her- almost a guarantee you'll get laid
- GOOD WIFE: Quit expecting presents years ago
- GOOD GIRLFRIEND: Too busy being with you to keep the house clean
- GOOD WIFE: Scrubs your pee off the toilet seat without complaining
I don't get it. One day I'll make a list of what makes a good boyfriend. I still have no idea what makes a good husband... but I know that telling you that you're no supermodel won't make the list.
5 comments:
Good husband - I thought that was a myth??
I have a tip for you how to avoid this sort of unwelcome comment. Make a sign with these words on it and put it on your desk:
'Churlish, Egocentric and Sexist comments are punishable by random acts of genital violence towards the perpetrator'
Ok, so it'll be a big sign, but I think it'll get the point across. Let me know how it goes!
Nice! You have nailed exactly what I want in both a girlfriend and a wife. The trick is to have one of each.
I am quite impressed that not only did you manage to get a new person to read the blog, but you also got a blog written about you on his page.
Great work!
Thank you, Killer, for the "big ups".
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