Thursday, July 06, 2006

Vacation Nothingness

Lounging Liz laments:

I've had a fairly substantial vacation from work that began on Friday and lasts a total of 10 glorious days. I am currently in day 7 of this holiday and I have cycled from the bliss of sleeping late and snacking on kettle cooked chips to where I now find myself disgusting. You see, I had SUCH plans for this time off! I was going to organize my closets, sack up clothes and take them to GoodWill, clean my blinds and shutters, polish the silver- you know, DO something. Instead, I have taken a nap everyday. That's about it. Naps and Magnum PI reruns. Yes, I went to Florida, but there I was either napping or on the beach, so that's not getting anything done.

I will say this about my vacation: I have hardly drank alcohol at all. That's weird. Usually vacation is the time for saucing up, but I'm on VACATION- which means I'm in shutdown mode. I think that's funny- I don't drink BECAUSE I'm taking a vacation from the everyday routine. Uhhh... Lush? I'm also finding that cigarettes are not as tasty when they are not an excuse to take a break at work. Hummmm.... where is all of this sensibility coming from? Will it linger past Monday?

Kim and I have decided that in 5 years, when we turn 40, we're going to Europe for 2 weeks. I've got to start practicing my vacation habits now. I don't want to be in Italy taking naps. I don't want the only part of Greece I get to see be the over-priced room we're staying in. I want to make the most of my trip. If this current jaunt is any indication, I'll basically be a sloth by 40 who will only fly to Europe if the airline agrees to have a wheelchair waiting for me when I get off the plane. I don't want to have to walk to luggage pick up- I'm on vacation! I mean, LOOK AT ME. It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I'm just now having my first cup of coffee. The bed isn't made, the kitchen is a mess, the bathrooms haven't been cleaned in weeks...

Damn... this vacation IS great afterall.


Killer said...

The naps you take in Europe are some of the best naps possible. I personally have a life goal of napping in every major city and every continent. Someday I hope to nap on the moon. I want to nap where no man has napped before.

Liz said...

Thank you for the support. You've got a big trip planned soon too, eh? When does that take place? Will you be napping in Costa Rica? Also, when are you coming back this way? You should be scared if you've already made the trip and didn't call me.

Mick C said...

Why don't you take vacations to a whole new level? I think I may have a marketable idea here: Hospital Vacations! You're admitted to hospital where after a heavy dose of barbiturates, you will fall into a deep coma. The patient, sorry, holiday maker, will be fed through a tube and have absolutely no monitoring from the over-stretched hospital staff, ensuring that after 7 days 'out' they will be lying in a pool of congealed shit on a piss soaked mattress. How great would that be Liz? One BIG nap, for a whole week. With Killer's expertise in the dark art of nursing, we could set this up as an international business!

Liz said...


You have hit on one of my secret fantasies. I have often thought about how glorious a coma would be. You catch up on your sleep, you lose weight, you don't have to clean the house... I've just never thought of marketing this idea. Nice. Killer, how would you feel about wiping MY ass on a daily basis? :)

On secong thought, don't answer that.