Monday, March 06, 2006

Profanity, Profanity, Big Hairy Ass, etc.

Proclaimed by Killer:
I am gearing up for a trip to the Bahamas. I know many of you might be thinking to yourselves, "Wait a gosh darn minute Killer, didn't you just return from a nine week vacation less than five months ago?" Yes, I did indeed just return from an extended vacation traversing the South East Asian country side, but I have a little known ailment that requires me to vacate more than the average person. Working causes my tourette's syndrome to flair up and I have unseemly bouts of profanity mixed with an overwhelming urge to show my buttocks to those around me. I am forced to use valuable time and financial resources in order to treat this horrific infliction. I have tried, on numerous occasions, to get my insurance company to reimburse me for the expenditures of these "treatments", but they have declined, and rather curtly I must add. I fear that if I allow this chronic ailment to fester and go untreated than I will create an uncomfortable environment for my co-workers, with an exception of a few that would probably enjoy looking at my butt. I feel naming names would be inappropriate.
I have digressed from my intended topic. I am going to the Bahamas with my pal, Bam, and his wife and daughter. They offered a free place to stay, so I pounced like a hungry beaver on fresh poop. (clever reference to a previous posting) I leave on Friday and return the following Saturday. While in the Bahamas I intend to SCUBA dive and drink beer, but not at the same time. If I could think of a way I could drink beer underwater I would be the happiest man alive. I will try and write a few blogs while there, and keep you informed of any misadventures.
I am now accepting any requests for trinkets and nick nacks from the Bahamas. I will not purchase any of them, but it would humor me to see what you think I might be willing to bring back for you.
If I had a webcam you would be able to see I was mooning the computer right now.


mom said...

I'll take a cute, young, rich Bahaman; or else something blue and shiney. Have fun....LOSER!!!! Love, MOM

liz said...

Your mom and I have the same taste. I would, however, like to specify that I would like my cute, young, rich Bahaman to be hung like a horse. I mean, as long as we're spittin' in the wind, I might as well hock a lugee.

Killer said...

I might be able to get ONE cute, young, Bahaman. I don't think I will see many wealthy ones, and you guys will have to share him.

Ray said...

Please post a picture of the "big brown eye" the world must see. Do you need a web cam for your B-day Or Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Take a funnel. I am sure you could rig up somway to drink beer underwater. I think some dumbass boys during my senior trip to the Bahamas poured beer down their snorkels for the same effect. I have a Bahamian story for you...I am on my way to tell you right now. Heather