Sunday, March 19, 2006

Who the Hell is Saint Patrick, Anyway?

Liz reports:

I went to the annual St. Paddy's Day Parade in lovely downtown Jackson, Mississippi this weekend. It's a BIG deal and one of the few times being around cops doesn't make me nervous. The whole event had a very New Orleans vibe- which is something I haven't experienced in a long time. I think it was the crowds packed onto the sidewalk and the smell of a septic leak lingering in the air, mingled with beer and pheremones that reminded me so much of the good ole days.

Aside from women taking this opportunity to dress like total hookers and the fact that one of my brother's friends cracked his skull wide open when he fell off their float, there wasn't anything truly unruly that occurred. It's nice when people know how to get drunk and still behave. I did witness a guy around 20 fall in front of Martin's Bar on the main street. He was whacked-out hammered and it was an "I've fallen and I can't get up" situation but everytime one of his buddies would try to touch him he would say, "Fu you. I ca nn git uuu on my oh" The whole time his Shiner Bock beer was flowing onto the ground in these enthusiastic spurts. I'm glad I wasn't that drunk. I had said at the parade that my goal was to be the 8th drunkest person there- I think I missed it by a long shot, thank god. We did have a really good time though, which included me leaving with a pair of green thong underwear (hilarious) and a gigantic pirate flag (the jolly Roger). I also have multiple bruises, a skinned knee, and a severely twisted ankle. My ankle was already a little twisted prior to Saturday so I hobbled to the parade- after and hour, I felt NO pain and think that I over exerted it by climbing up and down on a couple of floats, doing some Elaine-like dancing, jumping for beads, and just plain walking. I have no idea where the skinned knee, bruises on my shin, and sore bicep came from, but I know nothing violent happened to me so I am relatively sure that they are only party casualties.

I also learned at the parade that when you mix peach vodka, champagne, and orange juice, you can get closer to Heaven than you might imagine. It's a mimoso meets a screw driver and I need a name for the drink. One guy said that it's already got a name when it's made with plain vodka- he called it a dirty naval. I'm not going to allow that to be the name of my drink. I'm hoping you can offer a suggestion or two. I thought about " So Screw Mi" because that takes parts of each drink name and combines them- but that's more raunchy than what I'm looking for. It's a delightful drink, I want it to have a delightful name.

Although I have absolutely no idea who St. Patrick is, I really enjoyed toasting his ability to drive snakes out of Ireland. I know that has to be a myth, but he's still a Saint, so I wonder what he did. I just wish he could heal twisted ankles and hangovers.

Killer, I can't wait to hear about your trip! I'll be checking the BLOG for the update!

Much love- Liz


Killer said...

Oj, peach vodka, and orange juice is like combining a Bellini with Screw Driver. You could call it a Screw Bell. Or you could possibly call it a Homo Driver, since the second any males actually orders that combination of beverages in a bar he will immediately be labeled as gay.
It is great to hear you managed to uphold centuries of Irish heritage by getting "tore up from the floor up" on St. Paddy's day. Atleast this is the one day out of the other 364 days you don't have to feel guilty about that.

Liz said...

I gave up feeling guilty about drinking approximately 8 years ago. I LIKE the Screw Bell idea.I think I should advertise such.

talk to you soon,