Monday, January 09, 2006

Sticking it to the man!

I was just emailing a friend and encouraging her to steal for me when an interesting thought arose. What are you willing to steal and from whom will you steal it from? I have personally worked at many hospitals around the country and have absconded with many supplies for upcoming backpacking trips. Usually small items such as dressings, tape and bandages. Is it morally reprehensible for me to do this?
This train of thought was set into motion while I was asking a friend of mine, who works for a Nissan plant in Mississippi, if she would sneak onto the production floor and steal me an ash tray for a Nissan Titan. I don't own a Nissan Titan, but I thought it would be a funny thing to ask someone to do. She works in an educational role at the plant and is pretty much granted access to all areas. I have another friend who worked for a paper supply company and he used to provide me and my family with cases of toilet paper, although very rough and unpleasant paper, but free non the less.
I would not walk into a grocery store and steal bandages or tape, and I am pretty positive my toilet paper supplier would not be willing to shoplift a crate of TP. So, is it knowing a company from the inside and believing they deserve, or could afford, the loss the motivator, or is it the lack of fear of reprisal that creates this level of comfort for theft? On a side note: my Nissan employed comrade would more than likely be willing to steal from Walmart owing to a underlying hatred and dislike of that particular corporation.
I imagine this could be a problem if you are a kleptomaniac. Your job could be in jeopardy if you stole uncontrollably. Apparently as a klepto there needs to be no rhyme or reason to the theft. I was traveling with a large group of people once and one was a kleptomaniac. We went into a small-town general store on one stop and the person in question spirited away with a can of dog food, though she had no dog, and a lint screen from a used dryer for sale in the back of the store. I was deeply perplexed by her choices and she could offer no explanation.
So, is it wrong to steal from your employer? Does it matter if the employer is a large, heartless corporation, or a small, mom-and-pop operation? Can I steal batteries from the hospital for my camera and still be able to sleep at night? Am I the reason healthcare is so ridiculously expensive in this country? These are the questions I need to answer.
I will let you know if I ever receive my ash tray from the middle console of a 2006 Nissan Titan, fresh from the factory floor, and if any of you need a brand new, unused enema bag let me know. I can get them for free.


Anonymous said...

If you need some TP I'm still in the loop with those people. It's not really "Sticking it to the man" It's getting what you had coming to you! By the way some of my adult diapers are getting low can you swipe me some?

Anonymous said...

Oh I know I taught you better than that! By the way, you'll sleep better if that stuff just "accidently" turns up in your backpack. Love, MOM

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see your BLOG is getting some feedback. I feel like a "Y" list celebrity being anonymously mentioned like this!

By the way, I'm not even sure if they still PUT ashtrays in vehicles anymore, but I might can get you a Paint Suit... but it will cost ya. I'm trying to accumulate special items for a very special toy box that I'm building. It's my gift to me. Any utensils that might help a sister out? {wink, wink}

mom said...

where are you? for two mornings i've sat down with my malt-o-meal and prunes waiting to be entertained by your DAILY blog! what are we paying you for? you can't let work interfere with your obligations here! quit yer shirkin, love, mom

Killer said...

I apologize for my slacking. I also apologize that you are eating malt'o'meal and prunes. I would assume that was a joke, but I know for a fact that you eat malt o'meal. You appear to stay pretty regular, so the prunes are a given.