Thursday, January 19, 2006

Worst possible pick up lines

A discussion has begun with some work mates. What is the worst possible pick up line one could use on a stranger? Myself and my travel companion numero uno, Chad, have a personal favorite pick up line, "Hello, you are almost ugly enough to be willing to sleep with me." Although this line has not been successful as of yet, I am still sticking to my guns. Some of the top suggestions from the work discussion are listed below:
"Howdy, I am Michael and it burns when I pee."
"My court appointed psychologist says I am finally ready to be around females again, can you sign this paper saying I did not hit you?"
"Please ignore the rash on my neck...the weird thing is that yesterday it was only on my balls."
"I would like to ask you out, but not for dinner. You look like you would eat a lot, and money is tight since I am unemployed."
"I have a bet with my friends. They think you are a dude, but I said a trani would have better make up."

Please feel free to respond with any suggestions you might have. I am going to compile the best ones and field test them.


Anonymous said...

Maybe the pick up lines could be a reason or just maybe you finding something wrong with every women you meet could be the reason. You got a Christmas gift to help you with this issue.

Liz said...

I love your pickup lines! Here's a true story that might provide you with some ideas.

I was once in a bar and felt something rubbing on my back. I turned around and this dude had his shirt sleeve rolled up and was rubbing his bicep on me. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "I'm rubbing you with my love eagle tattoo." He smiled and showed his tooth. I took a step back and noticed he was covered in blood. I asked, "Why the Hell are you covered in blood?" To which he replied, "I'm a butcher. I just got off work." He ended up buying me a rose (rose selling in bars was big in the 90's) but it didn't work. But then again, I wasn't as desperate then as I am now...

By the way, what Christmas gift can help you stop finding something wrong with members of the opposite sex? I need TWO of what ever it is.

GOD- I'm asking for blog humiliation, aren't I? :)

Anonymous said...

see what i'm saying?

The Lisa said...

This is hilarious, fact i laughed so hard i almost puked,..i cried so hard it washed my make up off. so this was a damn funny one...will look forward to more.