Friday, May 19, 2006

If I were wealthy I could write more blogs.

Richly Written by Killer

My motivation to become independently wealthy is at an all time high. My ability to become independently wealthy appears to not be keeping up with my motivation. This is very unfortunate.
I need to devise new methods of obtaining wealth, but it needs to be quick. I don't know how much longer I can continue the rat race. My legs are getting tired and there seems to be no cheese in sight.
Plans for obtaining independent wealth:

1. Sell body parts on the black market.
I am fortunate enough to work around
a lot of injured people. I could probably score the occasional kidney, lung, or
brain. People are losing things around here all the time. I could just claim
ingnorance to the loss. Better yet, I could just say they did not have it when
they came in.
2. Become corrupt politician
I love to talk, and I love to
debate politics. I just have to convince one of the many big political
organizations, ie., Oil Companies, Pharmaceutical Companies, Labor Unions, etc.,
that for the right price I will do whatever they want to whoever they want. Once
elected, I get to fly around the world, live in a posh Washington D.C.
apartment, and date lots of young interns. All paid for by you, the tax payer.
3. Become a Gigolo.
Get paid to do sexual favors for rich women. I have
been hanging out in high dollar martini bars trying to set this plan into
action. Believe it or not, this is actually harder than it sounds. Most rich
women have personal trainers, so they can hit really hard.
4. Travel the South as a faith healer
Poor, uneducated people are gullible. Add an illness
or injury and they get even more desperate. Just put up a tent, throw together a
good choir, and start speaking in tongues and smacking sick folk in the head. By
the time their adrenaline wears off and they realize they are still sick you can
have the tent down, loaded and be fifty miles away. Just make sure the donations
are collected up front.

The good thing about all these ideas is they can be carried out simultaneously to maximize my wealth potential. I will keep you informed of my progress. If it goes really well, my personal assistant will actually keep you informed of my progress.

1 comment:

Meybel said...

I love it! I do hope you become rich for the only selfish reason that I need to be entertained by your posts more often!

btw: did you take killer's mom's advice and shave your err hem, artistic canvas... or did you finally realize that like a wookie, it is actually luxurious hair? Francisco said I should ask... =D