Sunday, April 16, 2006

Choosy Moms Choose Jiff

Almost not posted by Killer

I am off for a few day this weekend and would really like to live it up. I need a hobby. I want to do something fun and exciting, but I don't want to spend any money, nor do I want to start doing any addictive narcotics. I don't have a dog so rubbing peanut butter on my testicles for the dog to enjoy is out of the question. Plus I am not sure what kind of peanut butter dogs like. Do they want creamy or crunchy? Jiff or Peter Pan. If I still lived in San Francisco it would not be hard to find a person who could answer these questions, but here in Memphis no one talks about these kinds of things.
Hunting is a popular past time down here, but it is really not for me. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with someone going out into the woods and shooting small furry animals, birds, or capping Bambi's mother, I just don't have the patience to sit around all day waiting for one to walk by. It also seems unfair to always use a gun or bow. They should have to be randomly assigned a different item every time in which to use to kill the animal. "Jimbo, today you get to use one chopstick and three feet of dental floss. Good luck!" Now that is a hunting show I might actually watch.
I will probably end up just walking around downtown Memphis trying to find some excitement. On the weekends all the bars on Beale St. Have live music, and there is no lack of stumbling drunk people to watch. They have ducks that live in the lobby fountain at the Peabody hotel. I could go chase them around the lobby until someone throws me out.
I wonder if ducks like peanut butter.

1 comment:

Liz said...

As your co-blogger, may I speak for the people and request that comments about smearing your balls with peanut butter never be posted again?

I'm just a concerned friend.