Saturday, September 02, 2006

day 1 of quitting

Liz puffs:

Well, I've already failed at my attempt to quit smoking. I am, however, on day one, pill one of anti-smoking meds. This drug is new to the market and touted as the miracle anti-smoking drug. I may grow an eyebrow on my elbow, but at least my lungs will be pink again in 15 years.

This pill is susppossed to make cigarettes taste awful. The doctor, pharmacist, and Phizer Drug Co. Underestimate my addiction. You see, if you really, really are an addict; if you think about smoking whenever you're not thinking about something else (which is a lot); if you'd rather have a cigarette than go to a movie, then it's going to take not only willpower but cigarettes that taste like ass. Ass that has hemorrhoids. That are leaking.

Ewwwwwww. That's graphic. I'm not even sure what a hemorrhoid really is or if it can leek, but it sounds really nasty. I'm sorry.


4 comments:

Killer said...

For the sake of your quitting smoking, I am going to draw some diagrams, with explanations, of a few hemorhoids.
From a medical standpoint I really don't recommend tasting one.

Kim said...

A colon polyp is a different story. They come on a stalk and everything. Kind of like a flesh lollipop.

Anonymous said...

mmmmm....flesh lollipop!

Anonymous said...

mmmmm....flesh lollipop!