Friday, September 22, 2006

Krispy Kreme will Rue the Day!

Typed with misty eyes by Killer

Cruising the bustling metropolis of Memphis the other day I happened by a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop and low and behold the "hot now" sign was lit. I usually abstain from eating doughnuts due to my desire to avoid empty calories (all allotted space is reserved for beer intake), but the tantalizing, blaze red sign was not to be ignored.

For those of you not familiar with the heavenly creation of a fresh Krispy Kreme doughnut, I lament your plight, and can not imagine the thought of such an existence. You can keep your soulless Duncan doughnuts. My doughnuts are of a higher calling.

I strolled into the Krispy Kreme mouth watering and heart all a flutter. I was ready to get some fresh from the fryer doughnuts. I ordered two glazed and for the main course, one freshly made custard filled. I watched the counter jockey pull the doughnuts from the appropriate tray. (I don't trust these guys, too nonchalant with such an important task) I paid and exited the store with my tasty treats.

I get back on the road and reach my hand into the bag, passing over the plain glazed in favor of the much anticipated custard filled. I pull it out, savoring the ever so slight warmth, and take a bite. WHAM! Raspberry! My taste buds, having been thoroughly prepared for delicious custard, revolted with this sudden change in plans.

I peered down at the doughnut to get a look at this travesty and sure enough, instead of creamy custard escaping from the center, it looked like my doughnut was bleeding Raspberry from it's very heart.

If someone walked up to me right this instant and said, "Hey, would you like a raspberry filled doughnut?" I would probably take it. I don't have a ethical issue against raspberries, I just was so enthralled, so in love, with the thought of a fresh, hot custard filled Krispy Kreme doughnut, that nothing else was acceptable at that point.

I returned the once bitten, not custard doughnut back to the bag and tossed the whole lot dejectedly into the floor board. I was sulking now and thinking of all the ways I hated those bastards working at Krispy Kreme. They have a job that enables them to enjoy hot, fresh doughnuts at anytime, but they choose to take that luxury for granted.

I was burned that day my friends. Years from now people will think of me and say, "gosh, I wonder what happened to make him so cynical and untrusting." I used to see the "Hot Now" sign and get the same feelings a young child has about Christmas, before the bubble was burst and he was informed that Santa Claus was all just a lie. Yeah, I am still glad to see that sign, but the magic is gone, and I don't think it will ever be back.


Red said...

Is it weird that I sort of want a "hot now" sign for my home?

Liz said...

This reminds me of that time you took a "woman" home from the bar and found out that, in fact, her creamy center wasn't what you...

Wait a minute... was I susppossed to keep that a secret? Opps. Sorry!

:) JUST KIDDING! I hate when things don't live up to my anticipation. This is why I'm 35 and still single. ALL of the Krispy Kremes in my world are rasberry filled. I too, am looking for my custard.


I sound drunk but I'm not.

gatey said...

Finish the got home...picked up the bag and ate the doughnuts...including the raspberry one....didn't you?

othur-me said...

Am I the only person in the world who thinks Krispy Kremes aren't that great?

othur-me said...

Liz, keep juggling those nuts, eventually you will get custard.