Saturday, February 25, 2006

Jolly, One-Legged Fat Guy

Posted by Killer
Laziness has become my favorite hobby. I joined a gym, but can not get motivated to actually make the treacherous journey five blocks to work out. I guess it was a good effort just to go the first time and sign up. It is not a total loss, I did go a few days that first week. I am in need of a good catalyst to increase my work out potential. Getting increasingly obese does not seem to do the trick. Maybe a minor illness that would require a drastic change in lifestyle. I don't want anything serious. I know that AIDS and Cancer can really bring some major weight loss, but I am not that serious about physical fitness. Maybe if a doctor told me, "if you don't lose 80 pounds we will have to amputate your left leg." That would be pretty motivating, but not quite life threatening. Deep down however, I think I could even sleep through that. I could rationalize to myself that with only one leg I could get one of those Hover Round electronic wheelchairs and be even lazier. Also, if I did lose my left leg, it alone probably weighs about 50 pounds, at least. So, I would have lost fifty pounds without having to do anything. Hell, take both of them I would be at my 100 pound weight loss goal. I am going to pull it together and show a little more gumption for going to the gym. I have grown attached to my legs no matter how heavy they are.

3 comments:

the lisa said...

i would still be your friend if you had stumps...

Chris said...

Once you got "fake" legs. how much would they weigh???? Because we would take the battery out of the chair.

mom said...

huh? what chair? Has Chris been smoking funny stuff again?