Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Something stinks...That's a big hammer.

I need to open this blog by mentioning that I am not "boycotting" Liz as my mother has alluded to in her comment to the last blog. It is comforting to know that she did not even bother to comment about my blog, but to ask why she could not immediately leave my blog and go read Liz's. Liz has decided on her own, for personal reasons, to shut her blog down. I, in turn, deleted the link from my blog. Sorry, I tried to talk her out of it, but it was with no avail. So, as to not be the only blogger I know I have asked Liz to join Team Killer Rants. If Liz decides to join she will be able to post here when she wants. That way everyone can continue to watch my mother try and fix her up with my little brother.
Recently on Yahoo news there was a story about a man who was killed by his roommate for using the last of the toilet paper. Most of you might think this sounds rash, but I can feel where he is coming from. I seriously doubt this was the only thing that precipitated the killing. The room mate probably had been drinking his milk and even erasing the messages on the answering machine without telling him who called. I say there had to be more to it because he not only killed him, but he killed him with a combination of a sledgehammer and a claw hammer. You might think that a sledgehammer would be enough, but you have apparently not ever done much work with a sledgehammer. It is strictly a heavy duty tool. It really lacks the knack of getting into hard to reach areas and doing the finer work. If you don't really understand, I recommend you try hammering a small nail into your wall with a sledgehammer. In turn, try smashing someone's head open with a claw hammer sometime. You will be there all day. I think this choice of weapons shows a guy with good problem solving skills. His defense was that they had been arguing about the toilet paper all weekend, and then the guy pulled a rifle on him, so he beat him to death with a pair of hammers. At first glance it would seem rifle beats hammer, but not all weapons follow the simplicity of rock, scissors, paper. There are actually multiple lessons to be learned from this story. 1.) Always keep a secret roll of toilet paper hidden from your roommate. It might someday save your life. 2.) If you do use the last of the toilet paper, run a water hose into the bathroom and tell your roommate you are trying to be more sophisticated and this is a bidet. 3.) If your roommate keeps a sledgehammer and a claw hammer lying around the house avoid any arguments.
I just hope the police allowed this guy to clean his ass before taking him to jail.

1 comment:

Chris said...

I can agree with KILLING someone over using the last of the toilet paper. If I was on the jury, I would definately vote for the defendant