Friday, February 17, 2006

Welcome Random Blog Reader

If you glance up to the right hand corner of the page here you will see a button that says, "next blog." I really recommend you hit it sometime. It takes you, completely at random, to a strange new blog. It is quite an experience. Many are in foreign languages that I can not read, so I assume they are writing long elaborate blogs about me. This helps me feel more important and paranoid at the same time. A few are pretty cool and appear to be written by people who are living in strange and exotic locales. Some, however are very bizarre and troubling, in my own humble opinion. So, I have begun to wonder what would a person think if they clicked next blog and ended up on this site. Would they find me entertaining? Could they see me as narcissistic and shallow? Or maybe they would not be able to read English and just assume that I am writing about them.
I tend to write this blog in such a way that the three people who read it will find it funny. If you don't know me than I can understand how it would often make me appear psychotic. I assure you, several years of therapy and a daily cocktail of highly powerful pharmaceutical agents can allow me to legally say, "I am not psychotic." I am going to take this moment to welcome any "next blog" button pushers and give them a chance to get to know me a little better.
Killer is not my real name. It is a nickname I acquired when I was very young. I have never actually killed anything. It is only a play on my middle name, Kelly. I am not really sure why my parents decided to name me Kelly, but they did, and I can not change it now. The vast majority of my friends still refer to me by the name Killer, but not at work. It could be disconcerting to a hospital patient if they knew their nurse was going by the moniker, Killer.
I am a smart ass by nature and often can not control it. It is like tourette's syndrome. I frequently will say things that I find funny even when other people feel it is inappropriate. Like wondering aloud, while watching the plane crash coverage for JFK Jr., if he was listening to John Denver when the plane went down.
If you do happen to stumble upon my blog I hope you enjoy it, and please leave a comment, whether good or bad. Also feel free to leave a plug for your own blog. I would love to check it out. It takes a really long time to find good blogs just pushing the next blog button. But I really have nothing better to do.


Daddio said...

Okay, this is my 1st comment to KILLER. You CAN change your name (in court). Would like to have had the middle name of Eugene. I wasn't to thrilled about it my self. So you got Kelly instead. Your Mom made the request of Chad (I told her it was a small piece of paper), long story. You already have too many Chad friends

bones said...

apparently i made my comments to the wrong source last night. not you but just to your e-mail. I, being of blood relation and secretly known by the moniker BONES, do attest for this uncontrollable act of being a smart ass! I believe tis is what makes our life blood unique! (that was a bit dramatic for text no) But screw'em if they can't take a joke! I pushed the next blog button and either my 894 language decrypter wasn't working, there was some political fanatic, or i didn't give a shit! SO KEEP RANTING BROTHA MAN! i mean cool stranger i've never met.

chris said...

Well I can't be left out, as your other strange family members commented. I do think you are narcissistic(Bones swore this is the way to spell this, but then again he got home from work recently, so we all know what that means) & shallow. But then I think that comes from the gene pool, blame your parents!!!

bones said...

yea, i would like to add that chris is a compulsive liar and i told her that shit is spelled wrong, but being that i can hold my liquor better than she can, it's obvious that i am obviously suffering from dillusions and the inability to properly spell any word that could possibly skate through my sorted little mind.
P.S. please save me!!!!!!

chris said...

As you can see from Bones comments, he was still up @ 8AM, so therefore still DRUNK!!!! I was scared for Smokey licking his face, that he may become DRUNK!!!

Bones needs help!!! His liver screams everytime you pass him, "PLEASE SAVE ME, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH"(BEER/VODKA/WHATEVER Bones consumes)

Liz said...

Dear Killer,

You seem to have a moderate obession with increasing viewership on your blog. Have you considered an ad on a local real estate channel? They are fairly cheap and, because I watch that channel all the time with no intent of moving AND because I'm the only person visiting your blog that isn't realated to you, I assume that your target demographic may lie there. You might also drop some flyers off at local pubs, Office Max, and tobacco stores. Again, that's your fan base.

But stay away from ads in Florida. I don't think old people should be directed to your blog.