Friday, February 10, 2006

SUPER VALENTINES DAY SALE-O-RAMA

I am excited to announce my special pre-spring sale special. All Blog entries are 50% off! Hurry on down and check out the great selection. We have an excellent variety of products. We have blogs about masturbation. We have blogs about informercials. I believe we even have a few blogs remaining from last summer on our clearance racks. Take an additional 50% off any blogs that mention my mother as either old or senile. Everything Must Go!! We are slashing prices to make way for the fresh inventory of newly designed blogs that will be rolling onto the showroom floor this spring. I will not be undersold. Other bloggers may tell you they can give you better prices, but don't believe Liz. I will beat any offer, in fact for a limited time, I will not only match any advertised price, but I will give an additional 83% off that price. If you say you heard it here I will give you an Additional 20% off. That is 103% off the sticker price. That means you will actually make money by getting your blogs from me. Don't wait another minute. We have a limited amount of blogs available and they will be going fast. Hurry on down, the first 200 readers will get a free "Killer Rants" Tshirt.

All Sales are final. Blogger reserves the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. In recent clinical studies it has been shown that reading blogs can cause the following side effects: Heartburn, Indegestion, Abdominal Cramping, Nausea, Diarhea, Constipation, Blurry vision, Rectal itching and in some rare cases Death. Consult a physician before reading this or any other blog. All offers made in this advertisement are of limited value. Blogger reserves right to replace all items with items of equal or lesser value. Tshirt offer is entirely false and the first 200 readers will actually receive nothing except shame and ridicule. Ray Smells Like Feet!

4 comments:

Ray "BIG BOY" Martin said...

You smell like shit and sweaty balls you big head bastard. I do read the small print.

Killer said...

Ray, I am glad to see you finally stopped posting anonymously.

Liz said...

Shamelessly asking people to stay off the Liz blog? But why? Isn't there room in this world for multi-blogging? ESPECIALLY insulting is your abusive use of Valentine's Day- a celebration of LOVE- as a marketing tool. Have you no shame?

I'm not going to compete. I'm going to continue to tell my friends about this awesome blog that's out there and about the intelligent, witty, and insightful author of this blog- who happens to smell like shit and sweaty balls.

However, should you continue to openly or secretively compete for readership, I will cease posting comments on your page. That will then leave only your mother and your brother in law who care enough to read your rants.

If a blog is typed in cyperspace and no one is there to read it... was it ever even posted?

Killer said...

Liz, I apologize wholeheartedly. I should not abuse the pure uncomercialized beauty that is Valentines day.
I also apologize for trying to hate on your blog. Your blog is wonderful and I would hate to be left alone with just Ray and my mother.