Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Cancel My Life, Please

The new Liz writes:

I've got to go on some sort of soul searching journey. No, Killer, I'm not sure if a trip to your house will cleanse. I'm going to be a work in progress for a while, consumed with myself. Hummm... phrased like that, I fear that you may not be able to tell any difference. It's all this coaching and consulting crap that I do with my job. It's like I've passed out and woke up in the middle of an Oprah show intervention. I guess there are worse things? Like waking up on Dr. Phil?

I suspect that if your gut says move this way, you should move. Didn't you learn anything from Phinocio and his friend, the insect, that gave such good advice when he wasn't busy crawling around on poop or rubbing his legs together? Jimminy Cricket. Now THAT was one smart bug! He wore a hat and had a cane, so he was obviously intelligent.

Kim accused me of being SAPPY last night. ME? Sappy? She said that an essay I had written shocked her because it came from me and was so sugary. Like an email forward. I want to send it out as a forward and see if it gets passed back around to me 2 or 3 years down the road. Wouldn't that be awesome? Especially if someone had tried to claim it as their own.

Part of this insanity includes re-enrolling in school to finish my Master's Degree. This totally blows, but I figure I've already got about 8 grand invested in "higher ed", so I might as well. I cannot tell you how agonizing this is for me. I do not exaggerate. I would not be opposed to illegally purchasing a degree if the price was right. It's that bad. I'm considering illegal activity!

The new Liz does NOT approve.

Why did I think September 1 would be an appropriate stop date for smoking?


othur-me said...

I have a diploma from the Copper Institute of Mechanical Arts I bought on Ebay that I'd be willing to sell you for only a small mark up.

Liz said...

HA! That made me laugh!