Friday, August 25, 2006

Rock My World

From Inner Planet Janet:

I feel as if nothing is as it was. With the news of Pluto being downgraded to nothing more than a big, cold rock, it's like the universe is shrinking before our very eyes! What's next? Alaska? Hawaii? Are they going to be taken away too?

I'm really disappointed by the decision to downgrade. That's what happens when you have a bunch of minimalists calling the shots- Like the universe was getting too big for her britches; As if there was just too much clutter in the voids of space. Those assholes. Solar System Science is obviously run by dictators. I don't remember being invited to vote on this. Even when the fat Elvis stamp I voted for lost I could accept it because I had a voice.

You always want science to find MORE, not less. Seriously. What would happen if the cable company dropped 15 channels from their line-up without 16 acceptable replacements? I'll tell you what would happen- street rallies and sit-ins. Think of how pissed off non smokers would be if "science" decided that second-hand smoke really had no health risks. "We eggheads are downgrading the health risks of cigarette smoke from a likely cause of lung cancer to a mere inconvenience." Nonsmokers would be infuriated because there would be no scientific evidence to support their moral superiority. The list goes on and on. I don't think I need mention the can of whoop-ass that would be opened if monster truck tires had to be downsized.

The only acceptable downsizing is the size of my ass. For everything else, bigger is better.

I heard a rumor that they were going to add some new planets. I'm ok with this, but I heard that the new planets had numbers for names. UNACCEPTABLE. Only a dork wants to get his telescope out to look at KX-73 rising in the east. True story: When I was younger I used to think about the day that scientists would discover new planets. I picked out names for the celestial bodies so that I would be ready when asked. Little did I know that Adolph Hitler was in charge of planet naming.

You know what? Science sucks.

Good bye, Pluto. You will be missed.

2 comments:

Killer said...

Down with Pluto!
Oh, I am so going to blog about this subject.

othur-me said...

Long gone are the days when they named plantets with pseudo-double entendres......I want more planets that I can squeeze into a sentence and then giggle at, like Uranus :::giggling:::.

Oh....and I heard that scientiest are about to prove that second hand smoke is actually good for you and will extend your life....but only if you stand on one foot and hop in circles as you inhale it. Go find a random smoker and try it.