Quit Stealing All My Ideas

Liz types franticly so no one else says it first:

My life is so recycled that watching Seinfeld reruns is like watching bits of my own life unfold on TBS. I was against "The English Patient" before Elaine! I once enjoyed naked Saturdays before Jerry's girlfriend took them a little too far. I was a virgin wanting to get it on with JFK, Jr. It makes me wonder if the universe is really a lot smaller than scientists would have us believe. Is there such a thing as originality? Is it possible for any experience to truly ever be "new"?

My boss is giving me back my own ideas, shelved for months, as his. Not only that, but playing the role of boss means that he explains to me WHY this idea is such a good one. I want to yell, "No shit, Sherlock! It's MY idea. I know how freakin' good it is." But I don't. He usually adds a sense of urgency to "his" idea by saying something like, "We really need to make this happen as soon as possible." To which I want to scream, "Do ya think? That's why I mentioned it 3 months ago!" But I don't. Because otherwise, he's a pretty damn good boss. And it's not just him. Other people do it to me too. It's like an inescapable curse.

The salt in the wound is this new commercial where a group of men are sitting around a conference table. An employee gives an idea; to which silence is the response. Seconds later, another man at the table regurgitates the same ideas to much fan fare and adulation. My life, condensed into a 30-second spot. Ouch.

I have no idea, really, who knows about or reads this blog. Sometimes I am surprised to hear through a friend that there is a dedicated fan out there who I maybe knew for 9 months back in college. That puts some pressure on me. Even though I don't often rant about specific people, I still am aware of the need to use SOME code when I type. I don't want to tell the world that Killer wears women's panties and then Killer read that and feel betrayed. Therefore, I've been thinking about starting my own blog and keeping it top secret. On this blog I would name names. I would describe features. I would go into detail about the quirks and traits of the people whose lives I was serving up before the reader. It would be "journalism", not blogging!

This evening I was checking out "The Company Bitch"- probably my favorite blog ever- and her latest entry was about this exact problem. She had the same solution- start an anonymous blog! She beat me to the punch by 24 hours by writing HER entry first. Not only can I not get credit for the things I do, but I can't get credit for the things I don't do either.

I guess I'm not original. I guess I don't have keen insights to share with the world. I guess I can't manufacture anything that hasn't already been made. To use a phrase I've coined, there's nothing new under the sun.