Sweet Slumber

Through blood-shot eyes, Liz tries to make sense:

It's 12:40. AM. I have to be up at 4. AM. I cannot sleep. This is not a usual problem for me. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I'm to the point of wondering if it's even worth trying to sleep before the brutal alarm yells at me. I do not do well without sleep. I revert back to a 3 year old in the throws of a 15 hour temper tantrum. What would you do if you were me? I'm busy at work all day tomorrow, so I cannot take a lunch nap. I'm frightened of what daylight is going to bring.

Tomorrow night will be awesome. I've already planned it. I will come home from work (forget going to register for school) and go straight to bed. I can't wait. I may even take a Tylenol PM to ensure that there is no insomnia. Two nights in a row and I think I would melt.

I would not make a good spy. Sleep deprivation would cause me to tell all secrets. All they would have to do is turn the AC down, dim the lights, show me a down comforter and I would spill the beans. Yes, those jeans do make you look fat. Yes, your baby is ugly. No, there is no Santa. The nuclear warheads are hidden in Rhode Island. Whatever. Just hand me a pillow.

I slept all weekend. Really. I got 12 hours in on Saturday and equally as much on Sunday. Do you think that this is pay back for my sloth? That's really not fair. Days should be independent of each other. I'm big on independence. Why should I be punished because I'm single and don't have kids?

I find the obsession with Jennifer Aniston to be annoying. This repulsion is going on 10 years now. Yet, as I was lying in bed letting thoughts whiz past me, I actually formed this question in my mind, "I wonder if she really is engaged to Vince Vaughn?" I then spent approximately 6 minutes thinking about what it would be like to have been married to Brad Pitt. That made me think of Angelia Jolie, which made me think about African babies. That made me think about adoption, which caused me to link back to a tv show on being your own twin. I then think I felt a wrinkle in the universe, so I decided to blog about it.

I have been talking trash. I've SAID I was going to try and quit smoking on September 1. Now, that's only a couple of weeks away and I'm getting disturbed by my declaration. I need to quit. I kind of want to quit. Apparently, health is one of those things I'll care about once it's too late. I do that sometimes. Care too late.

It's 1 AM. I have to be up in 3 hours. I wonder if I went ahead and showered and went into work if that could count. I one time had this problem (but I woke up at 3 instead of went to bed at 3) so I did go ahead and go to work. I barely made it there without falling asleep at the wheel. I ended up sleeping in the parking lot until 7 that morning. That's as close to being a hobo as I've ever been unless you count a couple of New Orleans trips and one night in the park.

I'm tired, but not sleepy. I would really enjoy an Odd Couple rerun right now.

Sweet dreams. Let me know how they turn out.