There's one in every crowd- and I fear it may be me.
Ten ways to ascertain if you're the one:
- When someone farts and tries to play it off, you call him on it no matter how many others are around
- When you get tired of listening, you say, "I'm tired of listening."
- You stick your finger in the best donut so no one else can claim it
- When someone you don't like sits beside you, you move
- You openly curse other people's good fortune
- You call your parents when you're expecting another call so you don't have to stay on the phone very long
- You stare at a guy's lazy eye and bob your head to see if it will follow you
- You shrug off getting busted trying to use expired coupons as ignorance
- You never open your own beer
- You harshly judge people with toddlers
- If you don't like your fortune, you force someone to trade cookies with you
- You delight in fat/drug addicted/bankrupt/incarcerated celebrities
- You give a loud warning before the movie starts that talkers will be prosecuted
- You have a "poker playing" outfit
- You also have "drinking britches"
- Your top ten list contains 16 items
These are not all me. But these have, at one time, all been me. Again, I have to remind you, I'm not proud. Just honest.