Thursday, July 12, 2007

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Liz is back, ready to update!

I had to pee on a plane. It wasn't that bad, compared to the bathroom in the hostile we stayed in on our last night before flying out of Italy. I'm too old, and admittedly, too prissy to stay in a hostile. However, after blowing through several thousand dollars taking tours, paying for nicer hotels, eating some of the best food I've ever had and gobbling up souvenirs, paying 25 Euros for a hostile didn't sound like a bad idea.

I think that Italy has the worst drivers in the world. There are lanes, just like in America, clearly marked and designated. They are ignored. To quote, "When driving in Italy, you must not only know the dimensions of your car, but the thickness of the paint as well." So true. Lanes made for 2 become funnels for 2 cars, a bus, and multiple scooters. I quickly learned to simply look out of the window and enjoy the sites.

We were able to do a lot in 10 days. My favorite excursion was a trip to Cinque Terra, the five villages, where Kim and I stayed in Monterossa. It was unbelievable. Here are a couple of pictures from that heavenly spot:

We were in Rome, Pompeii, Venice, Sorrento, and Florence. Ah.... so nice. I guess the thing that struck me most is that the ruins are just THERE- as in, you round a corner and bam! It's the steps where Cesar was killed. Or bang! Wow! That's, like, the Coliseum. There is no "reserved for old shit" section of town, as I had imagined. The city has grown up around the relics. It is an amazing mix of old and new.

Another thing I loved were Europeans and Asians in American T-Shirts. 1/4 of the time the shirts were way off base in their proclamations. For example, there was an adorable little pre-teen European girl sporting a shirt that read, in English, "Boys Liars Fat Big". I think it was supposed to say, "Boys Are Big Fat Liars". I got the point. I also saw, "Pinups I Love" on a metro sexual Roman. Cute. He loves pinups. That T had the mudflap girl in sparkly rhinestones. While I'm on fashion, I didn't see that many stiletto heels. Flat sandals are big. I must also state, however, that I saw nearly as many Americans and British as I did Italians. I guess everyone wants to go to Italy.

I'll write more, and upload some more photos, this weekend. In the meantime, I thought of you while I was gone and couldn't wait to get home to tell you that it's true- Europeans have BO. Considering that I haven't showered in 3 days, I'm not going to judge them.


Churlita said...

What about men? Did you meet any hot guys or have a fun fling?

Killer said...

Judge them baby, judge them all.

Glad to see you are back.

Now, get to work, damn it!

Wavemancali said...

1)Welcome back
2)You'll be shocked to learn Killer was actually on good behavior, with the exception of today when he rattled the cages of the cubicle monkeys.
3)Killer may not realize cubicle monkeys throw feces just as readily as zoo mokeys.... duck.

HollowSquirrel said...

Your hair? Not fair. Honestly, I couldn't get past drooling over your gorgeous hair to read the rest of your post...

Liz said...

Hollowsquirrel- I am thankful for your comment! That is the ONLY picture- of something like 300- where my hair didn't look like a present left by cubicle monkeys.

I will address your question in a post this weekend. Short answer: No. (( sad face goes here )).

Killer, You think you can force people to work when you're a short-timer? No way. I'm off of real work until Monday. Ah. The best part of vacationing!

Wavemancali- Killer has been known to be good, but it's usually when no one is looking. I'm glad he upheld the standards here at Killer Rants!

othurme said...

You can't fool me. I've been to Catalina, I know those pictures are from there. Did you really think you could pull of convincing us you went to Italia when you really took Princess Cruise's Love Boat Beginner's Cruise to Catalina Island and Ensenada Mexico? Show us the picture of your Senior Frog sombrero!

Killer said...

In the first pic that dude is totally checking out your ass.

briliantdonkey said...

Welcome back, Sounds like you had a good time. Italy was one of my very favorite places when I was stationed over in Europe. Specifically Venice. Perhaps you should have approached the guy checking out your arse and you wouldn't have that 'didn't get none' problem. As for not showering for 3 days, 'when in rome do as the romans?" I don't think this is what they had in mind when they came up with that saying.


Liz said...


So... Catalina... does it really look like this? Does it have a nude beach?


I doubt it. See my reply to Churlita.


Thanks for the welcome home. Italy is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

And you look like you farted with that shit eating grin