I've told you how wonderful Italy is. And it is. I've told you how great my trip was. And it was. But what I haven't told you is about one of my traveling companions. Her role in the adventure was to remind me that no matter how many miles you may travel, there is always going to be an asshole within 30 feet of you.
See. There I go judging and immediately trying to gain your support. That's so unfair. Let me just lay it out here and let you decide for yourself. Ass or not an ass? It's the blogshow everybody loves!
- When told we were going to the Coliseum, she crossed her arms and said, "I'm not going to look at another fucking pile of rocks!"
- Had her dad pay for a $350 haircut, countless souvenirs, a $375 Prada purse, and the entire trip, but moaned about toting SOME of her own luggage.
- Behaved like a boorish American jerk to the locals- and got chewed out by two of them.
- Sneered and asked a waiter, "Is this FRESH?"
- Made us very late for meeting someone at lunch after assuring us that she would be in a store for no more than 15 minutes. Was in the store 52 minutes and didn't come out until her dad went in after her.
- Ordered, but never asked, for most everything from all traveling with her.
- Stomped her foot twice, that I saw.
- Lagged behind always, even when asked to RUN so that we wouldn't miss things like trains and buses.
- Always got these convenient stomach aches whenever we were doing something she didn't want to do.
- Talked constantly about her daughter or husband.
- Wouldn't let us watch BBC CNN (the only English TV station) because her husband is in Iraq and they might mention it on the news.
- Talked about when her uterus was going to shrink back, even though I requested that she stop asking people about her uterus.
- Would SAY she'd split the cost (if her dad wasn't around), but would never offer to pay you back. I'd have to ask- even though her ENTIRE trip was FREE.
- Asked, more than once, what Pompeii was and why we had to go there.
- Tried to con others into carrying her luggage (Kim turned this one on her once and made HER carry ours!)
- Cried twice.
- Stayed on her cell phone 50% of her waking moments.
- Incorrectly identified all male statues as "Jesus".
- Made it clear, on multiple occasions, that she had come to Italy for one thing and one thing alone- Shopping.
To balance out the bitching, here are some more pictures: