Southern Glory

Killer is feeling good in the neighborhood

Well, I am back South again. The accents get oddly thicker as you drive across the country on I-20. It starts out as Latino tinged English to full blown Spanglish, back to Latino and then the Southern drawl makes a gradual appearance. Finally you will find yourself reaching over several half filled jars of pickled pigs feet, paying the toothless, mullet wearing woman behind the counter for your gas and RC Cola. "Ya'll gots Cal'forny license plates...is you in the movies? Is you a fruit?"

Welcome to Mississippi.

I have enjoyed my homecoming. I got to see my new born nephew, Kade. It is amazing how much a baby grows in six months. He is already drinking beer and shooting animals with a rifle. Go Southern Genetics! I also get to spend more time with my family, mostly watching Kade try and walk. He is six months old, so the beer makes it hard for him to keep his balance.

There has been a few moments spent with my friends. I love when you are away for a long spell and then can just plop back into a conversations with old friends, as if you never left. Life is good.

I have not even thought about work. I am going to be as lazy and as shiftless as possible for a few weeks leading up to my vacation. I find the best way to enjoy a vacation is to do nothing for a long time before hand. I don't want to waste any valuable time trying to unwind from a job. I try and maximize all my vacation time vacating. After four weeks of lounging about the beaches of the Philippines I will then take about a week or so to de-vacate before attempting to find a new job. I have seen many example of people pulling a muscle or having a nervous breakdown from trying to jump right back into working after an extended vacation. I am very much in support of preventative health care, so I will take it slow when it comes to getting back to work.

When, and If, I finally feel ready I will begin the process of finding a job. Luckily, in the nursing profession that means I walk into the first hospital I see, show my nursing license, they check for a pulse, and I am hired. No rush, no fuss, it doesn't take much fancy job interviewing to shove medicine up someone's ass.

I will keep you dutifully informed of any major changes or occurences. Or I might just get drunk and try to post in drag.

Summer Itinerary

Well, I only have one week left here in Sacramento. I did not really take much time to enjoy Sac Town however, since I worked all the damn time. You know the old saying, "what doesn't kill you, makes you much richer."

I have big plans for my post Sacramento time. I am planning to hang up my Travel Nurse shoes, move back to Mississippi and be like the normal folk; stationary. Maybe buy a house, coach a soccer team, and stare longingly at the road, wondering, "Is there a better time to be had in Boise?"

First I have more immediate plans. I am rolling over to the Bay Area to spend an evening with some fellow bloggers, Jester and Othurme. I really enjoy reading their blogs, so I hope they can live up to the expectations.

Then I am going to rocket down to San Diego and hang out with my old Travel Nurse roommates Corey and Cathy. We will spend many hours arguing about who's turn it is to pick the place to eat and then go get drunk to forget why we were arguing. Life is grand.

Finally a mellow saunter across the Southwest to Mississippi, where I will get to spend some quality time with my family, including new nephew Kade. But in a month, I will join Chad in the Philippines for a four week "do nothing, while doing everything" extravaganza. I hope to drink lots of cheap San Miguel Beer, eat a lot of Chicken Adobe, and run through the streets yelling, "Masarap ang bayag ko!" Which is Tagalog for, "My balls are delicious!"

Hopefully I can start an international incident and make the news.

What are you plans for the summer?

Roman Holiday

Liz has booked the flight and will not get a new dishwasher until 2010.

I'm going to Italy for vacation this summer. In 29 days, 11 hours, and 42 minutes to be exact. I wasn't going to tell you, but then I read an article at Yahoo! News that said that Rome has unusually large quantities of cocaine and marijuana in the air. What kind of city has coke floating around as freely as oxygen? Pot smoke dancing with the exhaust fumes? What kind of city has a reputation for housing the most sexually aggressive men on the Planet?

The best damn city in the world, that's what city.

My passport is supposed to make it in less than a week before the trip. Cutting it close. Thank God we have such a reliable postal system.... sarcastic sigh...

There is a chance I might see the Pope, as we will be visiting the Vatican. When I was in high school and attended my first Catholic Mass, I stuck my finger in the holy water to see if it would burn. It did not. I hope I accidentally run into the Pope- like when he's coming out of the bathroom or something. And I mean literally run into him. If I see him, I am going to ask him if I can borrow his ring. I once literally ran into George Clooney and I once asked Kareem Abdul Jabar if I could make bunny rabbit ears behind his giant head while I had my picture taken with him. I once smoked a cigarette on a Hollywood sound stage made entirely of wood with NO SMOKING signs plastered everywhere. I had permission. I say it never hurts to make physical contact and to make absurd requests. It's that what married people do all the time?

I bought some new pants online for the trip. I have to lay down to button and zip them, so I'm trying to lose 7 pounds in 29 days. They can do that shit on Celebrity Fit Club in a week or two, so I'm not going to start worrying about it until I finish off this pint of Creme Brulee ice cream I have in the freezer. And I'm going to start practicing drinking wine. I've been practicing for years now, but I don't think I can over prepare.

I'll be writing more, pre and post adventure. I plan to try to keep some sort of journal so I don't leave out any interesting details. Especially ones that involve failing my drug test at work when I return to the States. "I swear, I ate a lot of poppy seeds and BREATHED. That's all, boss. That's all."