Killer puts words into Liz's mouth
I've been channeling the spirit of Liz. I would have written this post sooner, but I spent the first few days looking at me (Liz) in the mirror naked. Nice!
The Top Facts I, Liz, Don't Want You To Know
I used to work for the Mississippi Board of Education; I was in charge of Math. I am awful at math. Everytime CNN talks about the decline of our youth's education, yeah, that's my fault.
I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
If I could buy the original Uncle Jessie's house from The Dukes of Hazzard, I would; just to sleep in Bo's bed.
I write about how I don't like to show off my ample breasts, but everytime a truck and tractor pull comes into town, I don my rebel flag tube top, rub ice on my nipples and hit the fair grounds. Redneck love is better than no love at all.
I love my cats more than anything, but a long time ago one of them jumped onto the end table and drank out of my martini glass. I killed him and put his little kitty head on a spike as a warning to my other twelve cats. Nobody touches Momma's hootch.
I think Killer is a hunk of sexy man meat. Everytime I see him in a sleaveless Tshirt it is as if I just received two free tickets to the Gun Show. I wish he was gravy, so I could sop him up with my biscuit.