Monday, June 04, 2007

Every Monday is Like a Punch in the Nuts

What the Hell!?!?! It’s Monday again already? How the hell does this happen over and over again? Every time I start to enjoy a weekend, the next thing I know, it’s Monday. I am starting to see a trend here, and it is alarming.

Is there nothing we can do to stop this? Why must Monday keep popping up almost every single damn week? I want the scientists to stop worrying about Cancer and baldness and instead focus on something that effects every single American; Monday.

I might go my entire life without ever getting incurable genital herpes, but it seems like I have at least four Mondays every single month. One month I had Five! I promise you, that was a bad month. I was enjoying my Sunday, rejoicing that all my Mondays were out of the way for that month, when I look at my calendar and see that it doesn’t change months until Tuesday. Oh the Lord had forsaken me. I almost became an atheist that day.

I pay most of my taxes. I’ve never killed anyone of social significance. I deserve a reprieve from this relentless onslaught. If the government can neutralize a Monday on occasion, such as Memorial Day or President’s Day, why can’t they do it all the time? Our’s is the most powerful nation in the world, but we are supposed to believe that they can’t survive on a four day work week. Forget national health care. You want to know what would keep me healthy; 52 three-day weekends a year.

If we join together and begin a serious letter writing campaign to our respected congressional leaders we could end this dilemma once and for all. Complaining and protesting is the American way, and if that doesn’t work, then I am prepared to sue. I would like to see them accomplish this great feat in the Middle East, because if I have to wake up Monday and go to work, then the Terrorists have already won.

It might be an arduous battle, but I am in it for the long haul. Once Monday is wiped out my life is going to be perfect. At least until Wednesday, because that day is starting to piss me off as well.


laughingattheslut said...

There's a bit of a problem with getting rid of Mondays.

For some people who have to work on weekends, Monday is their day off. So without Monday, they have no motivation to go to work on the weekend. So that means no pizza and other restaurant food, no slurpees from the 7-eleven, no gas in the car for that Sunday drive or weekend get-away, no movies, no video rentals, no amusement parks, no museums, etc.... So that pretty much ruins my weekend.

But for most of us, the real problem will show up at the bank. The paychecks that many of us deposited on Friday don't officially show up on our accounts until Tuesday. The bank does something to them on Monday. So if we get rid of Monday, we'll never get to spend most of our paychecks.

This is especially a problem for me, since right now I don't have a job, and I'm spending someone else's paycheck. The paycheck is a direct deposit thing, and I can't just intercept it and deposit it on another day. So without Monday, I have no money.

Anonymous said...

Tuesday would become the new Monday...hmm the problem is growing...isn't work the real culprit here? I'll vote for abolishing that.

Babybull40 said...

With no Mondays and soon to follow Wednesdays. There is no point in going to work.. everyday would be a holiday or weekend..

mist1 said...

I think a half day Friday should be part of that legislation. Also, I am in support of taking the summers off. If possible, I would like to winter somewhere also. I mean, if it's not asking too much.

dmarks said...

I guess it is related to the "Without evil, there cannot be good".

But perhaps they should give the idea of "A Week of 7 Saturdays" a try.

heather said...

oohhh, i like dmarks suggestion, 1 week a month of saturdays! wooohoooo, hell yeah!

oh wait, i work almost every saturday. nevermind.

maybe i'll go with wreckless' suggestion instead. ~if~ we could figure out those pesky little staffing and money issues.