Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I almost forget to mention that today my BFF is officially one year older than me. She will continue to be one year older than me for the next 3 months. Don't try to do the math. You'll hurt yourself.

Here she is:

Doesn't she just LOOK like she'd be nice? She is. She's the one who saved me from growing up to be a bitch-slapping thug and I saved her from being the "crazy" one in the straight-laced bow-head crowd.

I did her the bigger favor.

Don't tell my parents, but I love her more than anyone else on the planet. We've been best friends for over 20 years. Regardless of who we are around, we are the same Kim and Liz. For some reason, I like the vibe from the Kim part of that equation and she is quite fond of the Liz. It started pretty much the day we met. Sort of like we were destined to be a set.

Everyone who knows us sees it- it is friendship in it's purest form. It's a respect and a joy. It's something special. When we are together, there is a chemistry. Sometimes others are envious. I feel sorry for them. Not everyone has a true best friend. Most people like when we travel as a pair because it's a good show to watch. She's funny. I'm quick. She's loud and oblivious. I'm loud and bold. We're both likely to surprise, if for no other reason than to see the reaction from the other.
We know secrets and dirt on each other and we also know it's safe- forever- or until the 4th mixed drink.

We don't do a whole lot of BFF, girly things. We hang. We play cards, guzzle beer, take road trips, go to concerts. We delight in making the other one laugh. We seldom shop together, mostly because I can marathon shop and all she wants to do is see if the Birkenstocks are on clearance. We talk about the things that matter in life and have an oath that prevents either of us from speaking when The Office is on. I love her. And I hope that you, too, have someone in your life that you consider your best friend. It's a good gig. I highly recommend it.

We'll be leaving for Italy on Saturday. I'm packing flashy clothes and she's packing hand sanitizer.
Here's to the trip of a lifetime with my BFF.


Kim said...

That first picture makes my tits look big... or at least my left one. WTF with gettin' all sappy on the WORLD WIDE WEB?! Now, how am I supposed to come up with a response that will follow all of that?

Mama mia, I gotta pee.

Killer said...

I've always preferred your left tit.

I've only known you guys as a combo. I had assumed you were born in the same hospital and met in the nursery. I can picture it now...Liz steals your bottle, so you poop on her.

josiecat said...

ok im here to add intrest to this one...again. im starting to feel like a freak. how wonderful you guys have it to remain friends for so long. its a gift to have that type of relationship. ok enough of the sappy and on to the jerry springer like section

the one person in life with whom i had this type of relationship is....my husbands ex-wife.

i will let your imaginations run wild for a while and explain more later.

i still miss her she was like my sister.

kim said...

Hey - watch the comments about my tits! Rightie sulked all night after I read that comment out loud.

Let me continue the story...I poop on Liz and then shove my pacie in her mouth to get her to shut the f up. BFF that you mofos. I'm not NICE! Liz so crazy.

(I've left you with a perfect segway...now's the time to come back with all the "nice" stories disagreeing with my above comment. Start with "remember when..." I really need a few to send to my boss)

I'm waiting, you IDIOTS!!!!

Liz said...


How many times do I have to remind you that when you type things your words carry a tone? You are the nice one, but calling people idiots is no way to make friends. My god. I can't take you anywhere. Even to the WWW. (That's World Wide Web, not the wrestling league).

Mayren said...

Honestly it's nice to see a tribute to the 20+ frienships. Gawd only knows that it's very hard to find these days. A little Realism thrown in with all the poop and Balls stories is not going to deterr Killer Rants Readers but actually endear them.

- k
That said.
You guys are too funny and cute. It's why i keep coming back for more. Thanks

othurme said...

Yuck.....we need some more stupid nurse stories after that. What I want to know is, who makes dinner and who wears the strap on in this relationship?

(Anyone else realizing that Killer and Kim have never been seen in the same place? And their names start with the same two letters? See where this is going?)

Babybull40 said...

My BFF is awesome.. She is quiet.. I'm loud and outspoken.. We have been BFF since forever...She is my rock and I'm her boulder.. lol.. something like that.. I wouldn't have it any other way.. BFF's rock...

Babybull40 said...

Actually I need to correct what I said earlier.. She is my BFF.. but she is such a Wench..

Churlita said...

Awww. That's so sweet. Did you just clean your house and find your misplaced hearts? Just kidding.

Have fun on your trip. I am still jealous.

Kim said...

Othurme, I'd be the one with the strap-on. Liz wouldn't be able to figure out the clasp on the damn thing and she can definitely whip up somethin' nice in the kitchen (if you know what I mean...)

How did you figure out that Killer and I are one in the same? The metamorphosis occurs by releasing a gasseous material that, when mixed with oxygen, forms a solid and my alter-ego, Killer. AND ALL THIS TIME YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST FARTING!

othurme said...

I like her. And not just because she owns a strap on.

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Anonymous said...

Which one likes to fart on the other's face?