Mississippi-California Blogger Summit

Sorry it has taken so long to post my side of the story, but I have been enjoying the beach in San Diego and am now on the road towards Mississippi.

So, this past Friday I finally got to meet some more peeps off Ye Ole Blog Roll. I drove from Sacramento towards the Bay area to hang out with the following:
Jester
Othurme
UMB
I also got to meet Dan, the code-savant, and Celeste, who lives with Jester and UMB.
You can see pics of the first few moments of this adventure at here at Jester's site. I am not sure why I did not break out my camera, but Jester got plenty of pics, hopefully he will post more eventually.

It is always interesting meeting fellow bloggers. You are never really sure what to expect. Liz and I had discussed, in depth, what we thought Jester and Othurme would dress like. Liz had Jester nailed as a khaki pants and sandals kind of guy, but was way off on her belief that Othurme would be wearing at least one article of clothing that was stone washed. I will only admit to being mocked by Jester for thinking he would be more "metro-sexual". Apparently I just came across as stereotyping, and was informed that a homosexual can't really be called metro-sexual. I could only hope that they had secretly assumed I would arrive wearing over-alls with no shirt and driving the truck from the Beverly Hillbillies.

On top of meeting them for the first time, I was actually meeting them at Jester and UMB's house. There was going to be no hiding for these guys. I was going to see all their dirty secrets. I was immediately stunned by the amount of livestock that reside in that one house. There were several dogs, some birds, a couple of lizards, and maybe a cat (I can't remember). I kept waiting for an ostrich to go strutting by the back porch. Apparently they are animal lovers.

I arrived early to go over a web design project Jester and Dan are putting together for me. Hopefully it will be ready and operational by the end of the week, and the whole world will get to see the amazing work they can do. I'll keep everyone updated on that.

Shortly after the nerdy geek stuff was out of the way, Othurme showed up and the real party could begin.

We went to eat at a brewery, since it is known that I am a beer geek and they are good hosts.

Dinner was normal and fun. I could easily see myself hanging out with all these guys on a regular basis. Everyone was funny, but not overbearing. It felt very comfortable and no one was over the top or trying to dominate the evening.

The end of dinner discussion was, "what do we do now?" The options were to go back to Jester's animal kingdom and chill with a few more beers or go to a club that they usually frequent and do things up right.

Othurme quickly voted for the low key home plan and Jester was all about going out to the club. So, it fell to me, the "guest" to decide. Usually I am all about keeping it real at the house. I am not really a loud, dance club type person, but it is a special occasion and I was still on a night schedule. So, I opted for the club. You can acutually see Othurme's real time reaction here: at Jester's site.

The club turned out to be a gay club.

I have no problem with gay people or gay clubs. Hell some of my best friends are gay. By best friends, I mean I know a few. I don't mean "know" in the biblical sense. Seriously, I used to go to a few in Mississippi. It is a little known fact that a lot of hot straight chicks go to gay bars, and you can usually get a really good conversation going before they realize that you are not gay, and are trying to get into their pants.

The bar was about thirty minutes away from where Jester lived. I always thought that you could throw a rock any where in California and it would bounce off a dozen gay bars, but apparently, outside of San Francisco, you have to work for it.

After being at the bar for a few moments I was offended. Not by the abundance of gay people, but by the fact that no one seemed to be checking me out. I easily fall into the "bear" category and I have a self image of myself as irresistable to the gay community. Having lost a good bit of weight recently, I might have lost too much, but I think it was just really a straight bar and Jester was embarassed about hanging out with straight people, so he lied to us about it's gayness. I don't blame him. It must be embarassing to be seen out with a couple of straight guys.

Or atleast a couple of guys in total denial about their gayness.

False Advertising

Killer throws himself at your feet for mercy.

Well, the blogging duet did not pan out. I then left Mississippi to go see some friends in Memphis, and since I usually take a blogging break on the weekends, you were all left in the lurch.

I arrived at Liz's house for a night of debauchery, but our age caught up with us and it was a short night of catching up and hanging out. No poker, no drugs, no sex toys, just a few beers and some Greek food. Liz's heterosexual life mate, Kim, was there so it was an extra special evening.

We discussed Kim's apparent sexual attraction to guy's with a "cro-magnum" brow. I have one, so I spent the rest of the evening worrying Kim was undressing me with her eyes. Look for a more elaborate post in the future of cave man brow glories.
We also got to see Liz model some pants she received in the mail, they have see through lace coming up the side of both legs and the have been bedazzled. She claims they are not the pants she ordered, but she is going to keep them. I told her she better start preparing to use the pick up line, "I really like your tooth", because those kinds of guys are going to flock to her in those pants.
Kim shared her three year old's inappropriate behavior whenever Strawberry Shortcake videos are played. I can understand, Strawberry Shortcake is a hottie, but I am worried about her handling of the situation. Apparently the new-age parental handling of small children "touching themselves" is to not say it is wrong, but say it should be done in private. If he doesn't have a DVD player in his room, how can he watch Strawberry porn? And, is this going to cause unwanted response for him when he gets older and he is walking through the produce section of the grocery store. His first girlfriend is going to be shocked when he tries to get her to wear some strawberry bloomers.
Many other subjects were covered, Liz's arch-nemesis, My possible house buying future, Liz's framed beefcake photos adorning her walls, and our thoughts on blogging, our favorite blogs to read, and the importance of not pissing off trampoline supporters.

Check ya later, and I'll try and make up for the blog snafu.

Let's put this bipartisinship behind us

Tonight, for the first time in over a year, the two minds from Killer Rants will be in the same room. I am going to hang out with Liz. That will probably mean lots of booze, some witty banter and probably me losing some money to her at poker. Liz is a card shark and, to make it worse, she talks shit when she is winning.

I am saving any blogging thoughts today in hopes I can goad Liz into a blog duet tonight. Maybe a State of the Blog address.

Plan tonight:
Arrive at Liz's
Freeze keys in a block of ice, so I can't drive home
Try to keep up with Liz drinking
Lie about the amount of cash I have on me, so she does not clean me out
Write a blog duet
Make fun of her cats
Use block of ice (with keys inside) to reduce swelling to my left eye
Leave in the morning, without helping to clean up