We're not getting a Christmas bonus at work this year and I usually use that scratch for gift buying. This means that 2006 is the perfect time to resurrect that timeless childhood gift-giving tradition: Homemade crap with a bow on it!
As previously disclosed I like to spend my free time sleeping. This means that 70 % of my Christmas shopping is done on line between naps. But this year I have an extreme budget to consider. I've got to bargain hunt, scout out the deals, make it to the Early Bird sales!
Uhhhh... Probably not going to happen.
My intense level of laziness combined with the broke-factor almost guarantees that there will be tears around my house at Christmas.
What Would Jesus Do?
Jesus would take one delightful Christmas gift (wisely bought at a half-price sale) and multiply it by 20, so that everyone had a lovely present. The receivers would parade around the room and brag about this awesome present that Jesus just gave them and they'd be like, "He cloned my first!" and other people would be like, "Nah Uh. He cloned MINE first!" Then people would start fighting a little bit and you'd look over in the corner and see that your dad is half wasted on the abundant wine and that the dog is humping your grandma's purse. Then Jesus would hush everybody up and talk about how the spirit of Christmas has nothing to do with presents and everyone would end up feeling really guilty and it would be a Christmas miracle!
Halloween resolution for '06: Be DIY Network crafty (as opposed to Beastie Boys crafty).
What should I make for my friends and family this Holiday season? It needs to be something that I can mass produce... I mean something that will show all of my friends that I treasure them equally... and it needs to be something that can slide in at under $15 a pop.
I would appreciate your ideas, but please do not suggest anything that utilizes yarn and/or popsicle sticks. (See gods eye below). Also, do not recommend that I give everyone I know a couple of black market Zanyx. Just because the price is right, that doesn't make it Christmas.
4 comments:
This deserves a full blown blog-off response, Beatch!
Make them coupon booklets. Like a coupon for a free backrub, or home-cooked meal, or hug. I would be so mad if that was my Christmas present, but at least it would be funny.
Use glitter.
Othur,
So right! I have forgotten the resources I have at my disposal! For Christmas all of my friends are getting a 6-second flash!
eek, love your comment!
CW3G- I promise. I'll make you a burger before the year ends. How does Saturday night sound? Talk to K and M? Take up a $$ collection?
my heart goes to you liz...a prayer might ease your loss...or some dumb luck that you could climb from the hole...I'd send them cards...or e-cards at the worst case scenario
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