Friday, October 27, 2006

Rebellion Thwarted

Groggily blogging by Killer

Well, I survived, and am without George. I will miss the little bugger, but am confident the rest of my fat will now stay where it belongs.

Surgery sucks. My throat hurts from being intubated, and I woke up with a vicious hang over, but I did not even get the enjoyment of a night of hard drinking to warrant it. Usually with this kind of hang over I'd atleast have some vague memories of singing "Natural Woman" in a karaoke bar.

One second I am lying on the surgical table, joking with the doctors, I wanted a good rapport so they would try a little harder, and the next thing I know I am waking up in a different room with some strange lady asking me to take a deep breath. I didn't even get a chance to give my planned last words. I think my last official statement was, "don't start looking under my gown as soon as I pass out, you pervs." I don't want that on my tombstone.

No attempts to hit nurses, doctors or passerybys was made. No flashing of the genitalia was undertaken. No bright light was seen during anesthesia. Surgery was not as bad as I thought, but I still will only save it for really important problems. No more elective surgeries, atleast no more after I have my penile implant.

14 comments:

Margaret said...

do you have Loritabs? There often a nice, post surgery, consolation prize.

chewes said...

glad you are OK.

gatey said...

glad you made it out alive george...that killer bastard was really bringing you down...wait...scratch that...i read the blog incorrectly.

Seriously, glad you are OK. Time to start healing up for Bonnaroo '07.

mist1 said...

I always wondered if being intubated made your throat sore.

othur-me said...

All that time you spent living in San Francisco and this is the first time you've been "intubated"? I don't buy it.

Killer said...

Leave it to Othur-me to make my very family oriented blog into a reference involving genitalia.

fringes said...

yay! welcome back! sleep away the weekend.

othur-me said...

What? I'm just saying San Francisco has a lot of hospitals!

Look...I'm the one person who reads this blog that can't feel too sorry for you, having been intubated twice this year myself.

I do feel sorry for George though. I think I'll name my new kidney after him.

Killer said...

Margaret:
They gave me a prescription for percocet, but I traded them with a crackhead outside the drug store for a box of popsicles, my throat is the only thing that hurts.

Everyone:
Thanks for your support.

Othur-me:
I did think about your own surgical fun when writing my posts. It seems that while I am trying to rid myself of unwanted body parts, you are busy cramming new ones in.
I promise, before I throw anything else away I will see if you need it first.

othur-me said...

Thanks, it means a lot to me, but I have large enough collection of unwanted fat already.

ambiebambie said...

Goodbye George.. may he rest in peace.

Liz said...

Please note that neither Chad, Bam, Kim, nor Joey have posted glee about your return.

Killer said...

Liz,
I did notice this. My best friends only like me for my money.

Joey said...

Wait, does this mean I don't get the porn collection?