Sunday, October 22, 2006

B-12, on the rocks

Liz waits for the air bubble to hit a vein:

I, without demonstration, have given myself a shot. I don't see how heroin addicts do it. My first attempt at shot giving would have been great except that I simply punctured my leg; forgetting that the needle stayed IN then the injection happened. So I had to do it again. My goal was to hit a muscle (which I think I did) but I'm not very comfortable that I had dispelled the air from the syringe first. In hindsight I really should have watched someone do this to me before I attempted it solo. If I don't make it, remember to remove anything incriminating from my house.

I am shooting up B-12 due to a slight case of anemia and "word on the street" that B-12 is awesome. I hope so. I hope to become an energetic, goal oriented person because of these shots. It will be great to blame my laziness on something that has always been beyond my control. It will be liberating to break my sloth-like weekend routine due to my new-found energy.

I am relieved. I have finally found a doctor who isn't afraid to give me prescriptions. Nothing "questionable" but stuff like B-12 and 150 anti-inflammatories (I'm not sure why so many as I am currently not inflamed). It's nice to have a doctor who believes that drugs were made to be taken. I had almost reached my limit with doctors who have made it their mission to cure us using their own brands of "alternative" medicines. Here is a good example of what I'm ranting about: I have a friend whose doctor recently advised her to not open her eyes so quickly in the morning as this has caused her to tear part of her cornea. WHAT KIND OF MEDICAL ADVICE IS THAT? Do not open your eyes so quickly in the mornings? How about: Do not breathe so frequently or Do not grow your fingernails in a square shape. Torn corneas are the type of thing we go to doctors for. Advice you'd get forwarded to you under the guise of "Fww: Fw: First Graders Cures for What Ails Ya! Cute! MUST READ!" is not what we go to doctors for.

All of that being said, I am realizing that I'm hitting middle age. I cannot believe it but it's true. When you write a whole blog about doctors, your sun is setting. I guess I need to start trying to undo 35 years of questionable living. This would mean exercise and eating healthy. Ick.

Don't they have a pill for that?

OH! That reminds me: I have smoked both Friday and Saturday of this weekend, but only while drinking. I smoked one pack over the two nights. I'm not proud, but I am also not hyper-worried. Please allow me to pose a question. Am I fooling myself if I say that I can smoke only when I drink? Seriously. Am I treading on thin ice by thinking I can limit my cigarette intake to when I'm boozed up only?

Scold appropriately, if needed.

6 comments:

Liz said...

Your advice is depressing but appreciated. I think to really win I will have to limit my drinking to my house only (bars get me) and to two or three drinks at a time. Great. It's football season. How am I susposed to make THAT work?

THIS SUCKS ASS.

Killer said...

You should limit your smoking to, only when you suck ass.

Liz said...

Killer, I thought you'd have some sage advice about getting air out of my veins, not my smoking ass.

Margaret said...

smoking only while drinking leads to more drinking

MAJOR EFLAT said...

I use to think these things as Universal truths about smoking:
....Smoking wasn't bad...
...wasn't good either way
... I could quit anytime I wanted to
... Seems and looks cool
...If yoiu can't lick them...join them
...makes you think better
...calms your nerves
...feels good after sex
...makes your bowels move better in the john...
...smoking is best when you're drinking
...or cigarettes and caffeine go together...

I came to learn that all of the above were just "certain truths" perpetrated by the culture that surrounds smokers...you don't need anything to make you quit this nasty habit...only the will and determination that you want to get back your healthy way of living back to where you started...because when we were born in this world We were not holding a pack of marlboro reds ...you can unlearn these if you really want to...the best way to go about it is the cold turkey way...If you could stop for two weeks the withdrawal symptoms will start...you'll get vertigo the next time you try to puff on one...I had been smoking since I was 16...I decided to quit when I was 44...my lungs are free now and I feel better..a lot better...breathing is better...its been two since since then...and there's no turning back...while you're at it...throw away all the paraphernalia or things that goes with the habit...(lighter, filters, etc...:q...anyway I still do occasionally drink but It doesn't mean you have to smoke too...when you are with some friends in a drinking spree the smokes does get in your eyes...and you become an involuntary second hand smoker...my appetite also improved a lot...so watch your weight Liz...

Anonymous said...

Liz, I understand, I only run over pedestrians when I drink. That being said, no, it is not okay to smoke when you drink.