Saturday, February 10, 2007

It's Limp Out There

Liz warns:

Be careful! Your world too may soon be bombarded with limpness.
Last week I had one of my flashback questions. These are useless random thoughts that simply pop from deep within my subconscious into my head. I think it happens when one of my brain cells has finally given up.
"I wonder if Don Knotts was pleased with his role in The Incredible Mr. Limpet?" I mused. Little did I know the chain of events that pondering would generate.
For 2 days it seems that everywhere I looked I saw tires low on air. It was like a superpower or something. "You might want to check your left driver's side tire," I warned. I was always right. "Yep. She's low. Thanks." I finally got over it once there were no more more flats in the parking lot. You would think that my job was done.
I went to the grocery store and accidentally put the bag with bread in it on the bottom of the pile. All of it is mushed flat. I was reading a story in bed with my BFF's kids and forgot I had my cigarettes in my pocket. They were broken and squished and... well, limp. Then yesterday my hair mouse came out of the can as an icky stream of sticky white water. This morning the whipped cream I squirt on my weekend coffees was as flat as my BFF's chest.
And tonight I have a date. Looks like it's going to be a long weekend.

4 comments:

Killer said...

To be on the safe side you should probably slip him some viagra, sort of like a roofie, but it is for his own good.

Mel Francis said...

that sounds like it would be for her own good, Killer.

Poor Liz. Maybe the silver lining to all this is that this is the perfect weekend to be a flat-panel tv?

Churlita said...

Weird. I came out of the mall with my daughter, and my front right side tire was flat.

It's just a good thing I'm not planning on dating any time soon.

Red said...

How was the date, funny girl?