Friday, February 23, 2007

Laziness Manifesto

Comrades, history has shown us that great people do ordinary things extraordinarily. They rise up and cast off the shackles of oppression, take action against wrongs, and pave the road for rights. But, my comrades, what about those of us who believe the revolution would be better started tomorrow, after a good nights sleep? Should we not get to lead the march for justice just because it's really hot outside, and it looks like it might rain?

We have been held down for too long, and it is time we unite behind a flag of freedom and show this world what we are capable of. Our journey has reached a precipice, and we can either leap fighting into the abyss or continue leading mundane lives sitting in the grove of trees next to the abyss. I think I saw some hammocks.

No comrades! Deny yourselves the comforting embrace of the proverbial hammock and leap. Leap into the battle and bring the glory back to your fellow lazy brethren to frolic in it's warmth and glow. The Go-Getters have monopolized the glory for too long, while we sat at home in a recliner, eating nachos and watching them receive accolades and awards on the television, wishing we could reach the remote control and change the channel.

We must rise up immediately and join together to change our collective fate. We shall march on to the capitol and have our voices heard. Actually, lets march in that new mall across town. It has air conditioning and we can stop by the food court. But, with our delicious Orange Julius held high aloft in defiance, we shall be an opposing force of laziness for all the world to behold. Now is the moment of truth in your life. When you are elderly and cruising around in your motorized cart, you will be able to look back on this day and proudly proclaim, "I took a stand for lying about."

On second thought, we better rise up tomorrow. It is getting late and there is a "Sanford and Son" marathon starting in a few hours. Tomorrow, comrades, tomorrow we rise up and unite. No excuses.


Anonymous said...

You can be our fearless leader. I will obey, comply and relax.

dmarks said...

My, you have such ambition! I will leave it to you as you march forward. As for me, I'll be here in the easy chair, dog in my lap, watching a "Wings" DVD marathon. You can go ahead without me. Don't worry, I'll catch up, maybe later.

Mel Francis said...

You didn't mention balls one time. How can you call that a manifesto?

Allan said...

'Apathy Whenever' would be my motto if I could be bothered to have a motto- which of course, I can't.

heather said...

hahahahahaha!!!! LMFAO!
if a pen happens to fall in your hand and there's a scrap of paper nearby, sign me in, just use hgf, it's quicker than heather and i'll know what you mean. if i can get away from the food network.

Liz said...

Does your manifesto include massages? My muscles are always tense from lack of activity.