Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Nicknames Empower Me, Like GW

In a comment to my Idiot Vernacular post "anonymous" said, "I've have found your best friend. He has the same gay ass "crocks" as you. Explain the nick names for your friends...." Only two people refer to my crocs (rubber clogs) as "gay ass", Bam and Ray Ray. Bam would have used his real name, since he would be proud to say hurtful things to me. So, for Ray Ray:

The Nicknames for my close friends, and what they mean (when able to explain)
*in order of common usage

Michael (me)
Killer - explained, rather eloquently in Finally Some Answers.
K Man - rather obvious
Clob - Clib got his name from his Dad when he was little, and soon Chad was called Clab, so I was given an honorific version.
Guano - on a few of our trips we made up new names to honor the new location. This was my Mexican name.
Chief Eating Beans - another trip name, the Native American version.
Chunky - I farted once and Clib said, "chunky". I thought he was calling me fat, so I yelled back, "bean pole!" He was referring to the fart.

Clib - From his Dad, because Chris had trouble saying Chris.
Clibby - The full version.
Clib-dib-da-fer - The full full version
Pacahontas - Clib's Native American name, because he would not eat his water logged, grey processed meat patty. Me and Chad made fun of him ruthlessly for his culinary ethics, and then ate his share to prove a point. My stomach hurt for a few days, but it was the principle.
Bean Pole - See Chunky above.


Clab - I already explained this! God, are you not paying attention?
Clabby - The full version
Sascrotch - Chad's Native American name. I am not allowed to tell you why.
Fat Back - Chad has by no means ever really been overweight, but he was thicker than Clib or Bam, so Bam always calls Chad fat names. Ironically, now Bam and Clib are plumper than Chad.
Fatty Fatty Fat Fat - Same as above, but I really love saying this one.
Frijole - Chad's Mexican name.


Yo Sef - A colorful way to say Joseph
Stu - From Joey's last name, Stewart.
Disco - From the Simpsons, immediately jumped on the second the introduced the character "Disco Stu", with the infamous line, "Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
Don Stewart - Disco reads all things mafia, and we refer to his Dad as King Richard, for ruling the family with an iron fist. We always said, "Someday, Joey will run the family."
Stew like the food - What Disco tells people when they ask which way he spells his last name.
Cleb - You should be able to figure this one out by now.
Whitey - If you ever see Disco in shorts, you will know why.

Bam - Given by his parents, There are people back in school, who probably did not know it was a nick name.
Bamela - Because Bam is my bitch.
Frankentooth - Bam had a chipped incisor for a few years and Clib always made fun of it.
Mister Fister - Can not explain without offending a lot of readers.

Busty Larue - For obvious reasons
Booby La Boobula - see above
Lizbian - I just made this one up, I think it is going to stick.

I love giving people nicknames. If you know me for a while I don't start calling you by a nickname, it usually means I am using a derogatory one to refer to you with other people. I am an ass like that.


heather said...

another fun-filled educational day at killer rants! loved the pics. :-)

Paige said...

wow - that's really scary knowing that I've kown you now for ten years. You've had ten damn years to make up bad names behind my back. damn you.

Liz said...

I like everything about this post, up until you get to me. I have many more nicknames, including Mo-Mo, Lib, Lizard, Lizardo and Liz-on. Why do all the ones you provide have to do with my tits or lesbian encounters?

The shadow in that picture makes my nose look big. Next time, pick a better one!

By the way, how old was Chris in that picture? 18? 19?

Disco said...

Damn, me and Clib need to go on more trips with you, our pictures are literally 10 years old.

Churlita said...

Yea! I love the pics. Liz is adorable. Is Killer your real name, or is it short for something?

Mel Francis said...

Um, I beg your pardon, but I believe I was first to use Lizbian on this blog. See my comments in Liz's "If I were a lesbian" post a couple of weeks ago. you know the one where she says her friend Kim would be the man. (I can't remember what the real title is and I'm too lazy to look it up right now.) I'm going to have to speak to my attorney about a possible copyright infringement...

othurme said...

Liz, what you didn't know is that Killer has been calling you Noseasuarus behind your back ever since I've been a reader.

Liz said...

Othur- I laughed out loud once I finally understood how to pronounce "Noseasuarus".

Churlita, Thanks. Really. Thank you.

Killer, Mel is right. You may no longer call me Lizbian without her expressed written consent.

Natalie said...

I can't believe you named yourself after bat shit.