Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Feel The Burn!!

Killer giving credit where credit is due.

I have shared several conversations involving RN1 from work. She is older, has lots of cats, and in my opinion, is a tad naive. I often tease her and make jokes at her expense. I and a few others take the effort to make her uncomfortable and expose her to new ideas.

Like a rat in a lab experiment, I feel she is learning and adapting to her environment.

Allow me to elaborate.

Rn1 and I are sitting in the break room relaxing.

Rn1: Oooo, you have to see the latest pictures of my cats.
Me: Unless you have pictures of one of you cats getting run over, I don't want to see them.
Rn1: Quit being mean, even you will love these.
Me: What's the last thing that goes through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Rn1: (digging through her purse) I'm ignoring you.
Me: What's the last thing that goes through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Rn1: (pulling out her pictures) I won't ask.
Me: (with my eyes closed tightly) I won't look at your pictures until you ask.
Rn1: Okay, what is the last thing to go through a cat's mind when he is hit by a car?
Me: My back left tire.
Rn1: I don't get it, and for once, I am glad about that. (she lays out about twenty photos of her cats. One cat is dressed like a groom and the other a bride. A cat wedding.)
Rn1: Isn't that the cutest thing you have ever seen?
Me: (jaw agape) Dear merciful God, what have you done?
Rn1: Don't act all macho, I know, deep down, you think it is adorable.
Me: Did these cats shit on your pillow? Is this some sort of severe cat punishment?
Rn1: They like it
Me: I can see, "please kill me" pouring out of their beady little eyes.
Rn1: My boys love playing dress up.
Me: Boys?!? Isn't that one in a dress a girl?
Rn1: No, I don't have any girl cats.
Me: So, you have decided to turn that fella into a trani?
Rn1: He is always the girl, because he is the prettiest.
Me: I think in a past life these cats were really evil and your house is like a feline hell.
Rn1: (scooping up her pictures) You always make fun of me. Can't you have fun without it being at my expense?
Me: Someone always has to pay for fun. It is a scientific fact that all fun costs at least four dollars.
Rn1: (placing the pictures back in her purse, she suddenly pulls out a five dollar bill) Here take this and go have fun in a corner by yourself.
Me: (stunned) OH-MY-GOD! You just burned me good. That was a pro-level burn."
Rn1: (smiling with a very proud look) I know, I saw the five dollars, and it just came to me. You're right, that was fun.
Rn1: Can I have my five dollars back?
Me: No way, someone has to pay for that fun, and it won't be me.
Rn1: It was totally worth it.


Wavemancali said...

Our little RN1 is growing up. I think I teared up reading this one.

Churlita said...

"Someone always has to pay for fun. It is a scientific fact that all fun costs at least four dollars."


wreckless said...

You have patients and patience. What a homophonic phenomena! I couldn't take the cat pics-Get a life!
I don't know if you read the other killer's comments, but I tagged the both of you in one fell swoop. Well at least on my page it saved me time. You're it.
I have the best joke ever. Give me $5 and I'll tell you.

othurme said...

I think your work in California is done. You have nothing left to teach her. You may now put your angel wings back on and fly back to Mississippi.

laughingattheslut said...

I do not want to know what went through the cat's head right before he died, and I do not want to read the tale of the cat that got flatter, etc....

As for having two cats in costume, I'm not crazy about it.

As for having two males getting married, not sure how I feel about it and now is probably not the time.

But having two male cats getting dressed up to get married....

No. Just no.

heather said...

that was a damn good burn on rn1's part. i'm so proud of her! :-)

Liz said...

Please stop referring to me as RN 1.

gatey is still too lazy to find his password said...

Can you please post at least one of those pictures? we just got rid of Cinemax and...i mean...i think Joan would enjoy it.

Mel Francis said...

I'm disappointed you didn't swipe a picture.

Other than that, Good job, sinsei.

Babybull40 said...

You didn't give her the dollar change.. Someone didn't learn his math..lol great post.. laughing my ass off... will that cost me now?

JLeonard said...

hey happy nurses week.

Mayren said...

RN1 kicks major booty!