Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Sap Confession

Liz shows her sensitive side.


I have no desire to have people suspect I am a dyke, a honky tonk whore, or a women's lib fanatic. Equally disturbing would be the perception of being a wide-eyed innocent who pouted if her parents didn't have a gift under the tree marked "from Santa" or a chick who freaked out if someone rearranged her doll collection. It's tough to be me.


If you're me, you have to balance the fact that you refuse to watch any movie that takes place in Victorian times with an awareness of what hairstyle looks best with what shirt. I know when I have found THE PERFECT earrings for an outfit, yet I am compelled to shrugg it off as totally coincidental if someone remarks on the beautiful pairing. I wouldn't want people to know that I sat around planning what earrings to wear. I would be disgraced.


That's why it's hit me pretty hard to realize that I do have a sappy bone somewhere in my body. I think it's located between my knee cap and third toe, but I can't be certain. It's been hurting all week. I think it's flared up because I have discovered The Wonder Years in reruns on Ion.


The Wonder Years was my favorite show when it came on Prime Time. I think I cried after every episode. But that was when I was a teenager and didn't have the firm grasp on my emotions that I have now. I find that I am with conflict with myself. I love the sarcasm of The Colbert Report, I prefer action movies or comedies to dramas, I'd take a beer over a glass of wine any day, and my dream date is going mud riding then heading to an outdoor AC/DC concert at an amusement park, followed by a poker game and a few keg stands. How can THIS woman be moved by the B+ sentimentality of The Wonder Years?


There is something about that voice over at the end of each episode that gets to me. Remember when Doogie Howser would type the closing of each episode on his computer? Same thing. I'd get all emotional.


Tonight's Wonder Years will be the one where Kevin and his math teacher have "a moment". Not a dirty, man-boy love moment, but a touching connection followed by loss. I remember this episode and it starts in 10 minutes. I used to be a teacher. I used to be a kid. I wonder if I'll make it though tonight without tearing up.


I doubt it. But if I do, I'll shrug it off as coincidental. The only thing worse than being a cold frigid bitch is being a person that cries over a 30 minute sit-com.

10 comments:

dmarks said...

Loved that show.

Killer said...

I never watched the Wonder Years. Shows like that and Boy Meets World, were always too cheesy for me.

Suck it up and quit being a pussy.

Babybull40 said...

I get all teary-eyed over silly things like t.v commercials.. but I'm an emotional sap.. So I guess I'd better suck it up...

dmarks said...

"Boy Meets World" is a different story altogether. More like "Brick Meets Screen".

wreckless said...

Never saw the show. You sound like the kind of female I like (and married).
I have teared up twice watching Extreme Home Makeover-yikes! I am scaring myself.

hellohahanarf said...

your dream date sounds a lot like mine and i prefer most of the tings that you do. how can 2 such marvelous women such as ourselves be single? wtf?

oh wait, i know...too many men these days are more sappy than both of us put together. get a grip, guys. some women actually want a man to be a man.

hellohahanarf said...

tHings. most of the THINGS that you do.

sigh. maybe men like women who proofread?

Courtney said...

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I teared up a little at Idol Gives Back. Those snaggle-toothed African kids singing with Josh Groban? Tugged right at my heartstrings, they did.

Anonymous said...

I remember talking with you at R. Holder's place the night the teacher episode aired. You told me it made you cry, and I laughed at you. Later that year I saw the rerun and had to tell everyone I had hay fever. South Jackson boys don't cry, you see. That must have been in 1990. Damn Liz, this aging thing isn't funny anymore.

mist1 said...

The next time I have perfect earrings, I am going to walk up to people and insist that they notice just how perfect they are.

Thanks for the inspiration.