Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Liz Faces Facts

Lucky Liz.

Not only was I born with incredible good looks, but an above average IQ and the strength of 3 men.

Ok, none of that is totally accurate, but there are shades of truth in the statement. I have both looks and an IQ (we will not discuss if either of these are exceptionally good) and if we're talking about 3 90-year old men, I might be able to whip them. If they had first been beaten heartily by someone else.

I've been thinking lately about getting some plastic surgery done. Don't judge me. I'm not really going to do it, I've just been thinking about what having plastic surgery means. It would be incredibly weird to suddenly have a new face. Weird and cool. Cool in that witness-protection kind of way. Cool in that move-to-a-new-town-and-change-my-name kind of way. I think Liz fits me, but if I had a whole new face I might have to upgrade to something with more syllables.

I think I would miss my old face. I see some of my dad and some of my mom in my face. I look at a picture from when I was a kid and see how I morphed into what I look like now. I wonder if people who undergo radical face lifts and tucks and construction feel like they're now missing some of their history. I wonder how many people are average looking but go for surgery anyway, just to push them over the edge into stunning.
How important is a face?

The best thing about The Dating Game, and yes, I am referring to that old TV show, was that the bachelorette asked all of these questions to men without seeing them. She considered their answers and picked the man she would go out with based solely on his responses. The worst thing about The Dating Game was that they asked questions like, "Bachelor Number 2, if I were a musical instrument, what would I be?" and the poor saps had to come up with an answer on the spot.

Sometimes a face can work for you and sometimes against you, even when it's the same face. I have a face that people in check out lines tend to look at and think, "Awww.. she's so girl next door, let me tell her my life story." This same face looks contorted and disfigured when it's trying to do a math problem. This same face cannot hide a secret. This same face is uncomfortable with "sexy" looks. This same face can make you stop talking in mid sentence and apologize, even though you're not sure what you've done wrong. This is a face that frequently tilts back in laughter and reveal a wide smile and a committed laugh.

Sometimes polished, and sometimes rough. Sometimes expressive and sometimes empty. As kind as you can imagine and as bitter as the coldest wind.
In a lot of ways, this face is who I am.


laughingattheslut said...

Is that you in the picture?

If it is, did you realize that you were posting a picture of yourself above the words--Disgusting Poop Post.

See, you should have posted a picture after Killer wrote a post called--Why Everyone Should Love Liz, or something like that.

heather said...

ok, the second picture you remind me of gretchen wilson. (one of my fav kick ass chics) and the third you remind me of my sister cl. the first is someone i'd totally have a blast with at the bar.

and i wouldn't jusge if you did want plastic surgery. if that's what you want, then go for it. just make sure you research it and get a good doctor.

Killer said...

I think you should try and look more like me. That would make our blog pairing seem more appropriate.

I can not imagine you with any other face. The one you have just screams, "LIZ!" I think it is saying Liz, Liz or Cheese. Sometimes I don't hear so well.

Anonymous said...

I like the face descriptions, how they work for you and what they do.
I have one that everybody thinks they know. There is a billboard with a guy that loooooosly resembles me. I have been asked a million times if "I'm the guy"
About your face-it's nice-keep it just the way it is-just my opinion.

Babybull40 said...

You do have that "girl next door look".. Women who do get plastic surgery are probably not "happy" and feel they need to enhance themselves to the point they are unrecognizable... and to me that ain't pretty...

mist1 said...

I was just browsing a plastic surgery website to see what I could do with $2500. Not much. I think I'll go on a vacation instead.

JLeonard said...

For someone that totally does not know you, other than reading here, I think you have great eyes.

Churlita said...

I don't know. I used to stress out about the way I looked, but now I don't really care. Do I want to date someone who's only interested in what I look like? Nah.

I've spent years cultivating my inner-life so I wouldn't have to worry about my appearance.