Thursday, May 17, 2007

Millinery

Liz questions:

Could I pull off wearing a beret? Beret people include:

  • Certain branches of the military

  • Certain White House interns

  • Mimes

  • Gay French men
Since I have no affiliation with any of the above groups, I could start my own beret-wearing gang. Our chapeaus would distinguish us from the rest of society. We would "beret" people who chose not to adhere to our fashion sensibilities. If Prince came to town, we would be overly prepared for the concert. It could be quite fun to be the only person in 4 states who was wearing, nay, owned a beret. It might be like being that red-headed chick in high school who drove a hearse. You remember her. Her vehicular accessory made a statement. We also have a local real estate agent who wears a white cowboy hat and seems to always be photographed in an American Flag button down. You remember her too, even though you try to forget.


The only thing is that I hate those little points at the top of a beret. They are too out of control to satisfy the extreme need I have for order in my life. And berets look like they would be hot hats. It's about to hit 98+ degrees. Maybe summer isn't the season for adopting fashion trends involving wool. Maybe I could just invent my own style of hat. Someone had to come up with the bowler, fedora, bonnet, and dunce cap. Why can't I gather some coat hangers and scarves and whip something up? I have a hot glue gun.

I need a versatile hat that will work with bangs. I'm totally thinking "angled". And I want it to make noise when I walk. Does anyone know where I can buy fabric that makes noise? And, preferably, glows in the dark?

Sounds like I have a weekend project ahead of me.

10 comments:

laughingattheslut said...

Fabric that makes noise?

Leather sometimes makes an unpleasant noise when you sit on it. Does that help?

If you really want your hat to make noise, you could buy one of those little things in the musical cards and fix it onto your hat in such a way that the music will play every time you turn a corner or open a door.

Tulip makes glow in the dark fabric paint. And Lemax makes little black lites that are small enough to put on a hat.

I think that it would be nice to have something like the scarves that Muslim women wear. It can hide a bad hair day and say you have no chance in hell of seeing my naked a**, both at the same time. Can you invent something that does that for non-Muslims?

Killer said...

I hate berets, for the reason you stated; that little point on top. It looks like a head nipple. I don't want to walk around with a tit on my head. On my face maybe, but not my head.

laughingattheslut said...

A nipple on your head?

Is that part of your Halloween costume?

Liz said...

Little black lights that are small enough to put on a hat interests me greatly.

Killer, I thought the doctor was able to remove the nipple from your head. Why are you still holding a grudge?

laughingattheslut said...

Here is some stuff


https://www.lemax-spookytown.com/shoppingcart/Default.asp?CategoryID=24#


It just says purple lights instead of black lights

laughingattheslut said...

Okay, let me try that again. Look under more catagories ++ and then under spooky battery operated items. And I think that the website costs too much anyway. Go to Micheals or something when they are on sale before Halloween. Or maybe look on eBay.

othurme said...

Coat hangers, scarves, and a glue gun?

The only thing you're going to whip up with those items is a do it yourself abortion kit.

Please don't wear that on your head.

Babybull40 said...

Gold Lamme(?)you know that material that alot of brides make their maids to wear.. that would be loud.. if not from noise, from the fact that it is ugly loud..and it does kinda crinkle.. so yeah it would make some sort of noise.You could take an old planter and adorn it with this gold treat and add bells to it.. then it would crinkle and jingle wherever you go.. fashion statement nes pas?

Natalie said...

I had a red beret when I was 5 and it was cute. Now I am grown and it is not.

heather said...

how about a beret of taffeta with tiny bells sewn on with sparkely beasd that have lasers in them? ;-)