Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Golden Years of Sex

In continuation of the bizarre topics of discussion at work:
Which Golden Girl Would You Bang?

"Blanche Devereaux" (Rue McClanahan) The slutty one.

This would seem like the obvious choice. She is experienced and likes to get freaky, but she is a slut. The only thing worse than getting a STD is getting a STD from the 19th century. Not only could you get the clap, but she might also carry polio or rickets.





"Rose Nylund" (Betty White) The stupid one.

Stupid chicks are easy targets. You could probably trick her into sex by convincing her you are a doctor and you need to give her a "special exam". She gets disqualified for constantly talking about her dead husband. Major turn off.





"Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak" (Beatrice Arthur) The male one

I refuse to believe this is a woman. She is seven feet tall with a baritone voice. To quote the 40 Year Old Virgin, "How did you know it was a man?" "Her hands were the size of Andre the Giants, and her adams apple was as big as her balls."





"Sophia Petrillo" (Estelle Getty) The REALLY old one.

We have a winner! Small and sassy, just like I like 'em. She's so old, in her early twenties she sold veggie burritos and bootlegged powder wigs outside of Mozart concerts. That just guarantees no risk of a long term relationship. That's always a winning trait.

12 comments:

EEK said...

I'd pick Betty White.

Mel Francis said...

I'll pick the man. I wanna see how it's hangin...or if it's taped and tucked.

mist1 said...

I gotta go with the dumb one. I like 'em stupid.

Liz said...

You know, this is EXACTLY what the Sex and the City cast is going to be like in another 25 years.

And you can tell them I said so.

Blyfinn said...

Man that is a tough choice. I just have to go with the stupid one though. Like it said. Easy target!

Paul said...

You gotta go with Dorothy. She hasn't been laid in ages, so when she finally lets go, it's gonna be huge!

othurme said...

Can you say five-some?

mffishdog said...

why stop with only one? if yer gonna get freaky, why not freaky-deaky? hell yeah! i'd go into detail, but mrs. francis up there would not be pleased...

Burg said...

You might catch the consumption from one or all of them too.. Ick.

shoes said...

i think my penis just threw up

shoes said...

alot of disgusting questions come to mind. the top one....

do you think any of them squirt?

Mel Francis said...

do you think any of them squirt?

Leak? yes. Squirt? *shudder*